It's Friday night, and you are about to take a hot chick out on a date. As you walk up to her door, you are holding flowers and candy in your hand to give to her. You're feeling pretty good right about now, but you're about to feel sick once you realize that the flowers and candy you're holding spell doom for you.



Flowers and candy were once thought to be "romantic" or a "gentlemanly gesture." That was also in the days of Leave it to Beaver. Times have changed, women have changed. Things that worked back then, just don't work now. They don't carry any merit, and in fact, they actually may hurt you. Let me tell you why.

What you thought was such a sweet gesture on your part, just told the woman you are taking on a date a very different thing. To her, flowers and candy represent a wimpy token of appreciation in hopes of receiving her attention in exchange. They are unoriginal, lack creativity, and are just plain cheesy. You might get a fake smile in return, and maybe a hug if you're lucky, but they will both lack sincerity. Strike ONE!

Not only will they lack sincerity, but you have just lost any ounce of respect you were hoping to establish. Any ordinary fellow can pick up flowers, so you have to do something to set yourself apart from those other guys.

Try something different. Think about every conversation that you have had with her. If you were listening, she probably told you more than enough about herself to give you a clue on her likes and dislikes.

Where did you meet her? At a coffee shop? At a book store? At the mall? Bringing something of context to her will show that you not only are attentive, but are proactive about it. If you met her at a book store, do you remember what aisle you were in? What she was reading? Pick up a book of the same author or topic for her. You can't imagine how many brownie points that will earn you.

And before you show up for your date, have something about the gift in mind that you want to talk about. Don't think that her heart and affection will be yours upon receiving the gift. You have to know WHY you're giving it to her, and be able to articulate it at the same time.

In the book example, do a little research on the author. Find out what types of books the author writes. Maybe check out some editorial reviews that you can "borrow" to make it appear that you know what you are talking about. And it will show your date that you went out of your way to look up and research her interests.

In her mind, if you get into something just because she is interested in it, that will show her you can express similar enthusiasm later down the road. And if she starts picturing the near future with you in it, that'll do so much for the current date you are going on.

Trust me, you'll see more enthusiasm on her end, which will make for an engaging date for the both of you. And you know what that means...usually another date very soon.

So, to summarize the key points of this article...

1. NOOOOOOO flowers and candy. Did I get my point across?

2. Be creative. Bring something of context.

3. Research before you give her the gift. And have something articulate to say about it.