Now, one year later, you are facing the first anniversary of the disaster. You may be feeling nervous that another hurricane may blow through. Emotions brought on by your losses may be coming over you in waves. It's possible that your discomfort has grown each day as the anniversary approached. This article provides you with some tips to help you understand what you are experiencing and help you feel supported during your anniversary.



What's Happening to You?

First, let me explain that what you are feeling is documented and happens to many people who have been through a trauma or loss?especially one of the magnitude that you've been through.

Sometimes when you are going through something you don't understand, it helps to have a name for it. What you are experiencing is called an ?anniversary reaction.?

An anniversary reaction occurs when unresolved feelings and sensations are triggered by the anniversary and circumstances that are similar to those of the original trauma. This reaction occurs because you didn't have the opportunity to feel or process your emotions at the time of disaster. You were focused on surviving and didn't have the time, skills, or capacity to feel all of the losses at that time.

Over the last month, as the anniversary approached, you may have felt discomfort, anxiety, and uneasiness in a lot of different ways ? physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually -- in your relationships, in your work, in your family. Please know that these effects will begin to ease up as you pass the anniversary date.

Plan for the Anniversary

As you read this article, think about how you want to spend the anniversary. What will be best for you?

o Do you want to be on your own?

o With your community?

o With your family?

o Do you want to spend time at a remembrance?

o Do you want to honor those that helped or those who were lost?

o Or do you want to do something that takes your mind away from the events of last year?

What you want/need may be different from what others in your family or social circle want to do. That's okay. If you feel you must join in a family activity, set up some time for an activity of your own choosing. Whatever you do, have compassion for yourself and those you love.

On the Day of the Anniversary

The day has finally arrived. It's possible you are feeling a bit nervous about how the day will unfold.

? Work your plan for the anniversary. Although you have a plan, it's possible that your feelings about what you need may have changed. If your needs have changed, make any necessary adjustments. There is no ?wrong? way to honor the day. What's most important is that you take care of yourself.

? Share memories and stories of event and those lost. Whether you spend time alone or with others, you might want to share your memories. If you are with others, talk about your memories. If you are spending time alone, you might want to write down your thoughts.

? Find a ritual to acknowledge the trauma and how it has affected you. Rituals such as lighting candles, singing with others, standing in a circle in prayer can bring you strength. If one of these options doesn't feel right, consider doing something that helps others ? give blood, volunteer, or donate.

? Create new memories. One of the most powerful things you can do right now is to create new memories, rituals, or traditions. This is a wonderful process to do as a family or with a good friend. Think about something you can do together to create a new touchstone for the day.

? Create a physical memorial. For some, having a physical symbol of the event is helpful. They find solace in being able to visit a memorial, plaque, status, or sculpture.

? Acknowledge how far you've come. Although it's unlikely your life is put back together again, honor what has improved for you--even if the progress is slight or subtle. Notice your physical status, how you are feeling emotionally, how you are feeling mentally, and how you are doing spiritually.

? Take note of the positive things in your life. Notice anything that brings a smile to your face'a young child's antics, a pet, a flower, a beautiful sunset. Shifting at least some of your energy to the small gifts of life can lift your spirits.

? Search for the gifts in your situation. Although you've been through an incredibly difficult year, it's likely that in reviewing your year you'll discover some unexpected gifts. You may notice your own strengths, the fact that you survived your trial, ways you've changed, or relationships that have strengthened as a result of the event.

Copyright 2006 Transition Dynamics Enterprises, Inc.