The list of feel good stories when it comes to internet dating online continues to grow. Not only are more people hooking up thanks to cyberspace (some recent statistics put the number at roughly eighty million people worldwide) but many are also taking the next step and getting married. Finding out that the magic you both felt online is the same or better when you actually meet is something to be extremely thankful about.



And then there is the other end of the spectrum. You and your online partner hookup and come to the conclusion within a very short period of time that you cannot stand each other and the very thought of establishing a deeper relationship makes both of you desperately ill.

What happened? Who knows. Maybe one of you was not fully truthful with the other or possibly you covered every topic in your online chats except the ones that really mattered. It could be that your expectations may have been too high; and then again it might not be anyone's fault. Sometimes reality has a funny sense of humor. It can throw something at you that neither party could have anticipated.

So the question becomes how do you extricate yourself from this unfortunate situation without making things worse than they already are?

1. Set it straight

Be honest with your date and tell them why you think it will not work out between the two of you. Do this without being harsh. Consider the other person's feelings. If the situation was reversed you would want the same courtesy.

2. Avoid criticizing their looks or appearance

Yes they are attractive but you were expecting them to be a little more attractive. Okay that is your right but do not throw it in their face. A photograph is only a moment frozen in time; it can never tell you the true measure of a person. If your date does not look like what you desire, fine but keep it to yourself.

3. Avoid lame excuses

You start hemming and hawing when your date asks you what is wrong. You then come up with some excuse that both of you know is a lie (see tip #1). The result is you just made things worse. You are both adults so if the date is not going well, it should be blatantly obvious to both parties. Instead focus on what you are looking for in a relationship and the things both of you talked about online; then go from there.

4. They have an opinion too

It is not just about you. Let the other person have their say. If they get nasty or rude about it, then you can put a halt to the date immediately. If not then listen and ask questions. Maybe there is something you are overlooking and by allowing your date to share their thoughts, it may be possible to reconnect with each other.

5. Avoid the pity train

You start to feel bad about the whole situation and tell yourself that maybe the two of you can make a go of it. Stop right there. Building a relationship because you feel sorry for the other person or yourself is just a recipe for disaster somewhere down the road. If you made the decision that the relationship is not going to work than stick to it. Just because you are experiencing a little bit of guilt does not mean things are going to get better in the future. Guilt can easily turn into resentment.



No, it does not always work out in online dating. The same thing goes for the offline world. That's life.

Just remember if it does happen then do not be harsh, dishonest or let yourself get trapped in a "woe is me" situation. Do everything possible to make a graceful exit for you and your date.