Miss or Ms. "Right" can be only a few clicks of the mouse away. Online dating has become the primary tool of single people of all ages to generate an interesting and rewarding social life. No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women/men out there eager to meet you and eager for your company... whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want.



Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women. Yes, it's a woman's world...still. It's "traditional" for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change.

In order to find the right person for you... and she/he IS out there... You need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.

You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady/man if you decide you want to do that. Just like regular real-world relationships, online relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.

- The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs. There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs. I don't recommend the free sites. The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren't satisfied and the investment is small. A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date. - Communication needs to "feel" right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don't rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.

- Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other's time with respect. If it's lacking, might mean time to move on.

- Respect each others privacy. Don't share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence. A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn't just see your head.

- You must be patient. Don't press her for personal information like her/him real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she/he feels comfortable talking with you online. Don't try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She/he will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.

- Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she/he will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one. Do not give that information to anyone online until you are confident that they are who they say they are.

- You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating... If you aren't 6'1" with a six-pack to be proud of, don't claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don't claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don't pretend to be 30 something. Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time

- Men, be wary of women who seem too financially needy. If they ask for money, in any of a dozen ways women can ask for money, cut the relationship off immediately. They are not looking for love or even friendship....they are looking for financial help.

- Listen...listen....listen. Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions. Get her to open up and talk about herself. Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her. Works wonders!

- Don't be rude. Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn't responding to you. If she isn't interested, take the hint and move on to the next prospect. If you get a lot of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach.

- Don't give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you. New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you.

- Another one to never use is, "I could be the man/woman of your dreams". The lady/man HOPES you are but she/he will be the judge of that... so don't insult her/his intelligence.

Lastly, once you have found a person that you can like (...even come to love) that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service. After all, you know and she/he knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking...not those who have found or been found.

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Remember, the idea here is to find a girl/man who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar...and probably a cheat, as well.

Online dating can be an educational and fun experience. If you've picked some pointers about Online Dating that you can put into action, then by all means, do so. You won't really be able to gain any benefits from your new knowledge if you don't use it.

Copyright © Anne-Marie Ronsen

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