Overcoming social anxiety is possible, especially if you allow hypnosis to help bring out the ?real you? in company.



Most social anxiety comes from being too inwardly focused. You are so aware of your shaking hands, your sweating body and racing heart that your mind empties of any social skill, wit or courtesy you once possessed. At this point, you are right not to trust yourself to speak as it's unlikely you're emotionally in touch with people around you. So you keep quiet and the party goes on around you and you get more frustrated and inwardly focused.

This negative cycle of nervousness and self monitoring can be broken using hypnosis. You can use hypnosis to practice being relaxed in social situations, hearing yourself speak clearly, noticing how people laugh at your jokes and how genuinely interested you are in others.

It's normal to feel some social anxiety when first meeting people ? in fact the adrenaline boost can make you more spontaneous and quick, which is great. Hypnosis can help teach your body to level out stress hormones and stop them before they stop you.

Be prepared for people asking interested questions about you ? remember they are not necessarily prying into your private affairs! Maybe consider some ?standard? replies to the usual questions e.g. what you do, where you live etc. particularly if there are things you'd prefer not to disclose. Obviously you can't prepare a full script for the evening, but a few handy ?lines? will ease your way into conversations and help the real you come out to play.

Being more relaxed in company allows you to be more outwardly focused and gives you the mental free space to concentrate on mirroring and matching people you're talking to. 93% of what is said by you remains unsaid, so by mirroring someone's body language, you say loud and clear "I like you, you're interesting, we're in tune with each other" without even opening your mouth. This works regardless of whether you're looking for a mate or not. When you're relaxed in company, you'll find yourself naturally matching the pace of their conversation and energy levels, again unconsciously saying "I like you". The virtuous circle is that people like you more when you let them know you like them.

Overcoming social anxiety and being yourself is possible if you take time to work on being relaxed in private, then testing it out in public. The more positive social experiences you have, the more confidence you will build, and the world will be wondering where you've been hiding yourself all this time!

Copyright 2006 Lyndsay Swinton