I did what you asked of me: helped the poor, preached your word, and hardly spent time with my wife because I was too busy doing your work; now let me in! 'Go away from me, I don't know you', his master replied. 'But you do know me', said the man, 'I am James: I helped others, preached your word, and rarely spent time with my wife for your sake. 'Are you hard of hearing', his master replied? Then, I shall tell it to you again, go away from me, I don't know you!



James Had No Time

James had no time for his partner because he was too busy working for his master. But his wife (Lucy) kept asking him to spend more time with her but James would not listen; all he kept saying was 'that there were people in the world that needed his help much more than she did'. James felt it necessary not to spend time with his wife in order to fulfil the need of others. 'But you also need to fulfil my needs, James', said Lucy. Yes, that may be so but your needs are not as urgent as the needs of others. 'I cannot believe you speak the way you do, James', replied Lucy! What do you mean by that, Lucy'? Well, James, the master did not intend that we labour or work only for others and not spend time with each other, or else our being together would be futile. 'I don't agree with you, Lucy', James replied.

He Failed as a Husband

Although James loved helping people he failed as a husband because he had no time for Lucy. Is this God's way? Should one give all their time and energy to others and have no time for their partners or children? Would such labour be pleasing to God? Was it not God who designed relationships? Was he not the one who performed the first marriage in Eden? Was he not the one who said 'that it was not good that man should alone'; and did he not create a woman for the man? Therefore, God expects that we take time out for our partners and if children are involved, time must also be given to them. By honouring your home you please God, but labouring for others and having no time for your family is displeasing to him. So take care that when weighed in the balance you are not found wanting.

Lucy Left her Husband

Lucy decided that this wasn't the life that she wanted and so left James and lived on her own. This made James quite sad because he could not understand why his wife had left him knowing that he was doing God's work. Unfortunately, James believed that working for others was all God wanted him to do, and failed to realise that his first priority was his home. When this was realised it was too late because his wife found happiness elsewhere and divorced her husband for negligence and for not performing his duty as a husband.

What the Scriptures Says

The Scripture states that 'many are called but few are chosen'. It also states that the Lord will say to many, I do not know you', but we will argue with him by saying: 'we visited the sick, the prisoners, and did mighty works in his name'. The Lord then will say 'depart from me, you workers of iniquity'. What one is trying to portray here, is the fact, that we cannot expect God to be pleased with us while neglecting the fundamental principles of Christian duty, such as neglecting our home or others. Our duty is to live a balanced life.

Your point of view

Nevertheless, do you believe that Lucy should have stayed with her husband knowing that he was helping others who needed help? Note, Lucy kept asking her husband for nearly seventeen years to spend time with her but he would not listen. Would you acknowledge this case as a lack of knowledge of God? Or would you acknowledge that James did not love his wife? Then, ask yourselves the question, what is true love?

Several questions have been raised above and it is vital that the questions are answered with your partner, friends or family. I hope that by provoking your mind that your lives and the lives of others will be changed for the better. It is acknowledged that society today, are too busy doing their own thing, neglecting their relationship, and the end result is unhappiness. We all have to decide which is more important to us: living a balanced life with happiness, living an unbalanced life and loss happiness and our partner, or live in regret the remainder of your lives. Think about it!

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