You're not a machine, you're human, so accept the realities as they are and don't bristle against them. Beating yourself up will accomplish nothing except low self-esteem something that will only add to already difficult circumstances. Accept the fact that you won't be at your best in the office during this time. Instead of taking the approach to "keep a stiff upper lip", try sharing with people around you. Let them in on the personal issues you're experiencing. Give them an understanding that your situation will require your absence from the office or will take up a lot of your time. Of course there's no need to share specifics unless you want to. Sometimes when you let others know the circumstances, it negates gossip and sets your co-workers' expectations properly. It also allows them to be more understanding and provide a way to reach out and offer help.



Some people prefer to "work through" a crisis and others may benefit from taking some time off or taking an unscheduled vacation. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to consider taking a sabbatical. Often we think we are handling things jut fine, but we really aren't.

Many years ago I was dealing with an issue that involved one of my children. It was a difficult and very challenging time for me and the rest of my family. A few close friends knew, but I felt that I couldn't or shouldn't let others know, and besides, I was handling it, right? Then one day, a client told me she thought I wasn't interested in her as a client anymore. When I asked why, she confided that I seemed distracted when we met and that I didn't send her emails or respond to her as I had in the past. I realized that while I thought I had myself under control, I didn't. I would have benefited from some time off, so I could focus on what needed handling without having to pretend' everything was all right while I was at work.

During this difficult time, size up your work load and priorities. Focus on what must be done and let everything else go. Make a point of reminding yourself that you can't do it all and only the things that absolutely must be done will get attention.

Be kind to yourself, ask for help from others and accept it graciously. For some reason, most people are hesitant or embarrassed about asking for help. It is during these times that we need others the most, so don't deprive yourself during these difficult times. And remember to take time for yourself. Going through a trying time will wear on you emotionally and physically, so take time to go to the gym, play golf, read a book or take a long, relaxing bath.

If you take care of yourself, you are better able to take of the personal issues in your life. Learn to embrace all facets of life. The cycles of personal problems and personal successes will flow and ebb and you will need to learn to flow along with them. Being kind to yourself is the first step.