It is normal to think about dating and romance as a young adult. Having an illness or disability doesn't change this. And young women with disabilities and illnesses have romantic relationships and get married just like others do. What can also be true for everyone? All people worry about how they look and whether or not someone will like them. It's just a part of growing up!



The Challenges of Dating

It's true that dating can be awkward at first for everyone, but having a disability or illness can bring special worries. It might be hard for someone to hold your hand if you are in a wheelchair or someone may have to kneel to kiss you. While many people use eye contact to flirt, you might have to rely on other senses if you can't see. Or, you may have to wear an insulin pump if you have diabetes and might feel uncomfortable about this. While these things can be hard, it doesn't change who you are and all the great things you can experience.

What can I do?

First, it's important to know that there is no right age to begin dating. Not everyone is emotionally ready to start at the same age. If you think you are ready (and your parents or guardian allow you), there are some things you can do to overcome the challenges you might face as a young woman with an illness or disability.

Here are some helpful tips:

* Try to see yourself as the likable person you are!

* Have a good attitude and show people you are comfortable or okay with your illness or disability.

* If people are not treating you well, know that the problem is not you, but the bad attitudes of others.

* Get involved at school and in your community. It will help you feel good about yourself, and it is a good way to meet people.

* Take time to care for your body. Here are some tips.

* If you feel nervous around others, practice your social skills by thinking ahead about things to say. Try focusing on interests you might have in common with people in your classes, like music or movies.

* If getting around town is hard, invite people over to your house to hang out.

Read about real life dating and how to have healthy and safe relationships.

If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable because of the way he or she touches you, make sure you tell your parents, guardian, or another adult you trust.

It is also very important to know how to protect both your feelings and your health when it comes to sex. Having sex or doing other sexual acts does not make people like you more. Sex also won't make you feel like you are "just like everyone else." Having sex also puts you at risk of getting diseases (STDs) such as Chlamydia and HPV.