As long as the children have a good relationship and seem otherwise happy, it is nothing to worry about. If sibling rivalry causes unhappiness in a child, this should be dealt with. Ignoring it will not make it go away and it could cause your child problems when it comes to making and maintaining relationships with others in the future.



Reasons for siblings to be jealous of one another, to provoke one another and for sibling rivalry include:

Jealousy or aggressive personalities

Low self-esteem

Very little social skills

People suffering from low self-esteem tend to be unhappy with themselves and seek validation from others, especially family members. If their view is outwardly focused in this way, they can become envious and think others are better than them. If this person also lacks social skills, they might relieve their frustration by "acting up" with their siblings. He or she might also be provoked easily. This is the main cause of sibling rivalry.

How to Deal with Sibling Rivalry

When dealing with sibling rivalry that is unhealthy you should do it as indirectly as possible. If you deal with it directly you might make someone think you are taking sides and make the situation worse. The alienated child might feel victimized and then blame you for it and become aggressive.

Tips on dealing with sibling rivalry:

Make sure the child has plenty of attention, love and support.

Spend time with the child in question. This boost self-esteem and makes him feel important.

Check the causes for the child's unhappiness.

Encourage your child to talk to you, but dont yell because this will have the opposite effect on the child.

After difficult situations have blown over discuss them with the child and ask if the child was watching their friends have the same disagreement what advice would they give their friends?

Discuss the situation with your childs teacher at school and other adults that work with this child. Keep in mind the amount of experience that school teachers have with children your childs teacher may be able to assist you in coming up with the plan to help your child.

You can visit, if need be, a child psychologist (without the child) for further advice and solutions.

Jealousy and sibling rivalry can begin at any age although it is usually during childhood while the child is attempting to create or discover his own identity that these problems arise. These problems may also occur during puberty, adolescents and even early adulthood depending on the individual situation. These situations are easier to deal with while child is young. As a child matures your advice may not be taken as easily.

Sibling Rivalries in adulthood

When adult children tend to have problems with their siblings and become disruptive during family get together some may find the best form of intervention is an adult sibling rivalry group. In this group different types of interventions will have to be implemented. Below are some basic possibilities for solving the issue of sibling rivalry:

In a group discussion discuss possible solutions to the sibling rivalry problems. The key is to remain impartial and non judgmental.

You might want to get a fresh eye on the subject; get a close friend or relative to help you with dealing with the problem and talk to the child.

Have an objective person mediate between the two siblings.

Talk to the sibling that is willing to take the advice. That way this sibling can stop the argument.

It isn't easy to build self-esteem in children, especially after things have got out of hand and they have begun fighting with others. Don't give up and do keep working at it though. A lot of the most successful and happy people I know grew up with strained sibling relationships but things worked out fine in the end. If you make the effort, things will work out.