When your husband is going to be in a position where he is going to be commanding men, the pressure on the family and especially the wife may be great. There are many women who once their husbands are wearing the stars and bars think they are the one that should have the soldiers snapping to it. Most women of this type are not particularly well liked by the other wives and it can contribute to a negative perception of the husband as well.



It is wise to be prepared when your husband will be rising in the ranks. It is important to remember that both your husband and you will often feel as if you were being examined under a microscope and in a sense you are. The higher the command your spouse is offered the more scrutiny will be focused on you and the family.

You want to help your husband lead effectively and you can be an asset to him by following a few simple steps;

Being the wife of a commanding officer can add more social responsibilities to your calendar. Only do what you feel you can do best and allot what you can't to others. You shouldn't expect yourself to be able to take care of everything.

Do your best to create strong relationships among the people who will be serving under and with your husband. You will get the participation from others once they see that you are serious about getting to know them.

If you are worried about learning the ropes, make it a point to spend time with your husband's senior officer's wife. Usually she has been a service wife for many years and you can benefit greatly from her advice and experience.

In order to build camaraderie, have a get-together on a monthly basis and invite the other commanders as well as the higher ranked officers. Try to have the other couples over for an informal dinner or a cocktail party at your home.

Use the Other Wives to your Advantage

Though you want the other wives to think you have it all together and nothing can faze you, you will be giving them a false impression of you. Let the wives of your husband's men know that you too need help and if you all work together as a team you can get any job put before you done. Share in the responsibilities and show them your willingness to work hard and they will be more than happy to do their part.

Some wives will be new to the base and others will be preparing to leave. You can be sure you are there for the wives in the same way your husband is there for his men. As a military spouse you have unique responsibilities and there are high expectations of the wife of the commanding officer.