That first preschool day marks a milestone in your child's life but for most parents it is a very worrying time as concern mounts over just how well the child will cope. With a little bit of thought and forward planning though you can do a great deal to ease your child (and yourself) through this big day.

The first thing you need to do is your homework. All preschools are not the same and not only are some better than others, but some will suit your child better than others. Take your time to draw up a shortlist of suitable preschools and then find out as much as you can about them.

Talk to friends and co-workers and see what they recommend. A recommendation from somebody you know and trust is an excellent starting point. But don't stop there. Once you've narrowed your list down visit each of the preschools under consideration and talk to the teachers. Use this opportunity to ask probing questions and to really get a feel for the school.

Having decided on a suitable preschool the next task is to prepare your child for the big day.

For most children the problem with starting preschool lies simply in the fact that this is the first time that they have been away from you and from home. The best way to overcome this problem is to introduce your child slowly and gradually to being away from you and to being away from you in a strange environment. This is not as hard as it seems and can usually be accomplished quite easily with the help of other parents.

Start by spending time away from your child by arranging for a trusted friend to keep an eye on the child in your own home. Begin by leaving the child alone with the friend for just a few minutes and then gradually build this up to an hour and then several hours. During this time the trusted friend can also help considerably by not simply acting as a babysitter, but by gradually introducing some structured learning activity into the time spent with the child.

Once the child is happy being away from you for extended periods the next step is to move onto getting the child used to being in a strange environment.

Start by moving the child's new learning activity into a neighbor's house or somewhere unfamiliar and again build the child up slowly and gradually. Begin by caring for the child yourself, then together with a trusted friend and finally with the trusted friend alone, once more gradually increasing the time spent in this new environment.

One important element throughout this process is that the child should also spend an increasing amount of time in structured activity rather than simply in play. This structured activity should of course be fun and you'll find it particularly helpful if you take your lead to some extent from the child and structure activities around things that the child enjoys doing. The object here is simply to introduce the child to the idea of concentrating his or her attention on a variety of different activities for a reasonable period of time and of completing one task before moving on to the next or being allowed a break to play or to have a drink or eat.

If circumstances allow, the ideal way to accomplish this preschool training is through a small group of parents in a similar situation which will not only allow your child to get used to being away from you but will also get him or her or used being with other adults, in a variety of different environments and also with other children.

Building your child up gradually over several weeks or months before preschool will mean that their big day is not quite so daunting. Of course, it will also go a long way towards helping you to overcome your own anxiety about the day too.