Signs of stress are palpable everywhere. Demanding bosses, adamant customers, arrogant experts and consultants, irresponsible workers, intriguing politics cause apprehension in the workplace. While fighting couples, nagging wives, philandering husbands, and behaviorally-challenged kids inflict chaos in the homes.
However, a little stress is as necessary as the need to breathe fresh air or eat nutritious food. Stress somehow serves a purpose. A little stress helps a person prepare better, perform better, and think better. Sometimes without stress, there is no push.
But for some people, being stressed becomes the sole purpose and is a way of life. While breathing and eating are physiologic needs, excessive stress is too costly – a luxury that we can’t afford to have.
How can you effectively deal with stress? What’s the role of the I AM principle?
The I AM principle is an acronym that corresponds to the three practical ways to effectively deal with tension: Ignore trifles, Accept the things that can’t be changed, and Move on.
Ignore Trifles
What are trifles? Trifles are by definition small, superficial, inconsequential, unimportant, insignificant entities. Office politics, unfair rumors, bigot’s opinion, unpolished shoes, prolonged traffic, and stained shirt are good examples. Trifles in general don’t matter in the great scheme of things.
Why are people then so preoccupied with trivial things?
People focus on trifles because there is nothing big going on in their lives. Some people, despite the presence of major things in their lives, prefer to focus on the trivial for fear that the “big ones" will overwhelm them. Some prefer to rot in the comforts of inactivity for fear of failure.
Still others use trifles to escape from the reality of hard work and perseverance and to deviate ones attention from the pressing and yet life-changing events. And others focus on the unimportant to justify their current poor predicament. Of course, it’s more convenient to focus on the insignificant yet easy endeavor rather than focus on the vital yet difficult undertaking.
Whatever the purpose it serves, trifles are wastes of time that should be relegated to the trash without hesitation.
Accept things that can’t be changed
Dwelling on things beyond your control is disastrous. Just imagine trying to change the weather, the past, your physical looks, or where you’re born?
I remember an elderly man who died unhappy and broke. While still alive, he questioned his father’s will (certified to be genuine) which he declared as unfair. He fought his siblings, went to court, annoyed his own lawyers, and agitated his wife and children. In the end, he lost all $1 million inheritance money due to lawyer’s fees and court appearances.
People end up in psychiatrist’s couch because of this sad predilection. A lot of stresses, neurosis, and conflicts arise by trying to change the unchangeable.
Learning to accept things the way they are is a virtue. Although initially difficult, acceptance has its reward – peace of mind.
Move on
After ignoring the trifles and accepting the unchangeable, moving on is the next important step. The focus should be on life-changing goals, on things that matter. Moreover, one should focus on things that can be improved and resolved.
Life is change. Life is in constant motion. Stopping its motion is like allowing a river to stagnate and die.
Have a life. Move on!
You may be in debt for reasons totally out of your control but it is totally up to you to fix it. So it is critical to make a plan for getting yourself out of debt. But before we make this plan, we need to understand some underlying truths. The first truth is that there are no "free lunches." Companies who claim they can help you get out of debt and are "non-profit" should be scrutinized carefully if not avoided altogether.
These companies claim to be non-profit but you would be foolish to think that they are doing it for free. The second truth is that, at least in the United States anyways, there is no such thing as debtor's prison. However, keep in mind that you can go to prison for non-payment of child support or taxes. A third truth is that you cannot "draw blood from a turnip" as I was told growing up. If you are in a situation where you do not have the money to pay then you don't have the money to pay. You can't steal it as that will only complicate your problems. By considering these truths, it will help to eliminate your worries and help you to avoid chasing after solutions that will only sink you deeper. Worrying about your debt will not solve your problem and there is no one else that can fix your debt problem other than you.
So, keeping these truths in the back of your mind, it's time to come up with a plan for reducing your debt. Here are 10 ways you can start:
1. Stop charging on your credit cards. If you have to use a credit card then avoid taking cash advances from ATMs. Cash advances on credit cards have the highest interest rates. 2. Try to increase your income in order to make larger payments on your debt. This might mean moonlighting or taking a second job on the side (the internet is full of additional income opportunities) or having a garage sale. 3. Reduce your expenses. Do you really need all of those premium cable channels? Do you need a bigger second car or do you even need a second car? 4. Liquidate assets. Analyze this carefully but sometimes you have assets such as stock that can be sold even at a loss in order to pay off high-interest credit card debt. 5. Come up with a budget. This is the simplest yet most overlooked strategy to reducing your debt. 6. Try to keep your expenses fixed. Avoid any type of variable expense if possible. This makes it easier to create a budget. 7. Bring your own lunch to work. Try to avoid eating out for lunch or at least minimize it. 8. Transfer high-interest credit cards to a low-interest credit card if you can. 9. Look for things you can do yourself instead of hiring someone. For example, men might be able to invest in some barber clippers and try cutting their own hair. You might be mechanically-inclined and be able to make your own minor auto repairs (such as changing belts or replacing headlights). 10. Look for ways to cut your utility costs. If you have a fireplace in your home, you can actually save money in the winter by burning more fires. For those who live in desert climates, you can landscape your yard with desert flowers and shrubs and virtually eliminate the need for lawn watering.
And there are many more tips that can be added to this list. The overall goal of this list is to cut your expenditures and increase your income and savings. Unless you achieve this overall goal, you are bound to remain in debt forever.
Both Michael G. Rayel, Md & Terence Young are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Michael G. Rayel, Md has sinced written about articles on various topics from Stress Management. Dr. Rayel, author of First Aid to Mental Illness, is a clinician, expert, and a speaker. As an advocate of first aid for mental health, he has established seminars and workshops on the subject.. Michael G. Rayel, Md's top article generates over 1300 views. to your Favourites.