This is a sad fact.



Signs of stress are palpable everywhere. Demanding bosses, adamant customers, arrogant experts and consultants, irresponsible workers, intriguing politics cause apprehension in the workplace. While fighting couples, nagging wives, philandering husbands, and behaviorally-challenged kids inflict chaos in the homes.

However, a little stress is as necessary as the need to breathe fresh air or eat nutritious food. Stress somehow serves a purpose. A little stress helps a person prepare better, perform better, and think better. Sometimes without stress, there is no push.

But for some people, being stressed becomes the sole purpose and is a way of life. While breathing and eating are physiologic needs, excessive stress is too costly – a luxury that we can’t afford to have.

How can you effectively deal with stress? What’s the role of the I AM principle?

The I AM principle is an acronym that corresponds to the three practical ways to effectively deal with tension: Ignore trifles, Accept the things that can’t be changed, and Move on.

Ignore Trifles

What are trifles? Trifles are by definition small, superficial, inconsequential, unimportant, insignificant entities. Office politics, unfair rumors, bigot’s opinion, unpolished shoes, prolonged traffic, and stained shirt are good examples. Trifles in general don’t matter in the great scheme of things.

Why are people then so preoccupied with trivial things?

People focus on trifles because there is nothing big going on in their lives. Some people, despite the presence of major things in their lives, prefer to focus on the trivial for fear that the “big ones" will overwhelm them. Some prefer to rot in the comforts of inactivity for fear of failure.

Still others use trifles to escape from the reality of hard work and perseverance and to deviate ones attention from the pressing and yet life-changing events. And others focus on the unimportant to justify their current poor predicament. Of course, it’s more convenient to focus on the insignificant yet easy endeavor rather than focus on the vital yet difficult undertaking.

Whatever the purpose it serves, trifles are wastes of time that should be relegated to the trash without hesitation.

Accept things that can’t be changed

Dwelling on things beyond your control is disastrous. Just imagine trying to change the weather, the past, your physical looks, or where you’re born?

I remember an elderly man who died unhappy and broke. While still alive, he questioned his father’s will (certified to be genuine) which he declared as unfair. He fought his siblings, went to court, annoyed his own lawyers, and agitated his wife and children. In the end, he lost all $1 million inheritance money due to lawyer’s fees and court appearances.

People end up in psychiatrist’s couch because of this sad predilection. A lot of stresses, neurosis, and conflicts arise by trying to change the unchangeable.

Learning to accept things the way they are is a virtue. Although initially difficult, acceptance has its reward – peace of mind.



Move on

After ignoring the trifles and accepting the unchangeable, moving on is the next important step. The focus should be on life-changing goals, on things that matter. Moreover, one should focus on things that can be improved and resolved.

Life is change. Life is in constant motion. Stopping its motion is like allowing a river to stagnate and die.

Have a life. Move on!