If you are extremely frustrated over your lack of will power when face-to-face with food, you are a compulsive eater. Self-discipline seems to be simple enough for other people when they are serious about making a change. They have what it takes to hold on to goals. For you, attempts at will power dissolve into a void where no goal really matters.



If you are a compulsive eater, a big chunk of every day is spent thinking about food ? about eating it, about not eating it, about how much it's costing you physically, emotionally and financially, or just thinking about the weight you want to lose.

For many compulsive eaters, food is always in the forefront of their minds. Before breakfast they're thinking about breakfast. After breakfast they're planning lunch and at lunch they may be talking about dinner ? today's, yesterday's or tomorrows.

This disturbing preoccupation with food can spill over into relationships. There is such pressure to deny we are out of control that we may go overboard in wanting to verify every tiny triumph in conversations about food with our friends. It's a tough friendship that can survive monologues like this: ??and then I had only one roll and I didn't put any butter on it, and then I had a salad with miso dressing, whatever that is, but I really wanted ranch, but I didn't give in, and then I had broiled chicken, not fried, and I turned down the mashed potatoes because who can eat them without lots of butter, and instead I had string beans, not my favorite but I had two helpings so I wouldn't be too interested in dessert, so then for dessert I had the very least worst, some sort of very light mousse, and I even left some ? not a lot, but some. Then in my coffee I put??

This preoccupation has another bad byproduct; it takes the edge off the love and happiness available to you now.

After tussling too long with conflicting desires, you physical energy has been worn down by frustration, fear, guilt and anger at yourself. How many years have you tried and failed? Reinforcing your sense of being a failure are your numerous vows of renewal. How many mornings have you awakened determined to quit, then by the afternoon all the old urges have taken over. Once again you are eating compulsively and saying to yourself, ?I'm really going to get myself under control tomorrow.?

Do you get angry with yourself over food? That's one of the worst features of compulsive eating. Each extra eating episode carries the bad aftertaste of ?I've failed again. I've let myself down again!? You endlessly reaffirm the negative messages about your capabilities: ?What's wrong with me that I can't control myself??

Weak , guilty, worthless ? words that won't just go away. They are fed after every lost battle with The Urge, and although there are many other expressions of yourself that negate them, they return to haunt you every time you see your reflection. Body image remains a basic form of identification for every human being.