I asked my lovely wife recently what she thought about internet dating as an alternative to meeting someone at in the workplace, church or other more traditional settings. She only wrinkled the pretty forehead of hers as if I had said a bad word. Strangely, she asked me if I had ever considered it. I said I might if I was not ALREADY HAPPILY married. Am no dummy. I later found out that Internet Dating, in her opinion, is for those who are very desperate or very insecure. I don’t necessarily agree.



I think its undeniable that Internet Dating nowadays has become more socially acceptable than it was just a few years ago. It has completely changed the dating world with which we baby boomers are more familiar. There is no question that it has absolutely revolutionized the dating scene all over the world. Serious adults who are genuinely interested in meeting people in order to pursue serious, healthy relationships and who are exhausted with traditional approaches find it a much, much better alternative.

But how did we meet the opposite sex before the internet became so powerful and popular? Well, the predecessor to internet dating was the posting of personal ads in your local newspaper. Not the papers that appeared so sleazy that you dare not get caught reading them publicly, but in the same newsprint you would utilize if you wanted to rent gardening equipment or find out where the nearest garage sale was being held. Even so, there was a huge stigma attached to the practice.

Let’s face it, many people make false assumptions that anyone who utilizes the internet as a method of finding a lover are either one of the following:) too U-G-L-Y, b) too desperate, or c) too psycho, or d) an axe murderer.

The passage of time and advances in technology has produced thousands of online dating sites. Internet dating still wrinkles a few foreheads for us more traditional folks or those of us who found the love of our lives through more traditional means, but as my daughter would say, “don’t hate, just celebrate those who are confident enough to try internet dating."

There are several obvious benefits to internet dating. Here are a few:

1) Safety – No one has to know who you are until you are ready for them to know. You are generally in complete control of the process.

2) Security – If you end up talking with someone online who you believe should be seeing a psychiatrist as opposed to a psychologist, so they can get drugs with their treatment, and then it is fairly easy to drop him or her. If they persist, it is easy enough to red flag them to the sites’ webmaster, and they will be history! If you have been proceeding with caution, they will not be able to harass you further and you will be safe.

3) Here is one of the most important benefits, it’s FREE! - Internet dating sites allow you to sign up and log on, generally without having to commit to a membership fee. You can have a conversation with someone without even having to buy him or her a cup of coffee or dinner. That’s what I’m talking bout!

4) There is diversity. A wide range of choices. -There are more singles signed up and looking for love than rats on a sinking ship. Not a pretty picture but you get what I mean. There are tons selections and prospects…and they come in all shapes, sizes and colors!



5) It is truly cost effective. -With internet dating, you can practice the philosophy of “seek and find" fully. It enables you to get to know several prospects concurrently with less time, energy, money, and frustration. There is no question that this is more cost efficient than some more standard options. The chances of finding that “special someone", without having to file Chapter 7 as a result of the process, is higher when you use these cost efficient internet dating approaches.



6) Eliminates the Fear of Rejection – I had a friend who once came up to a girl and introduced himself to her. She promptly and coldly shut him down. Isn’t that what we all fear the most: rejection? Who could blame her? She doesn’t know my friend from Job. And to be honest with you, he doesn’t have what I will call, “flow". Not real smooth. Internet Dating dissolves that fear. All we do is make contact via e-mail. If she or he rejects you, it will so much easy to handle and easier to quickly move on.

Okay, like most things today there is also a downside. Like the traditional methods of courtship, there are rules. Online dating is safe, inexpensive; over 99 percent of the

Online Dating sites in the world are very sincere about finding you the perfect partner. But there are still dangers to contend with.

There are many con men and women out there who use internet dating as a means to part unwitting victims of their wealth. You have to face the reality that there are some crazies out there who wish to inflict serious bodily harm, and others who use the internet for other forms of cyber-crimes. Unfortunately, due to the vastness of the World Wide Web, there still are not effective ways to police each and every e-mail or chat room without negatively impacting right to privacy issues. In the light of all this, here is some critically important safety tips you should absolutely adhered too:

1) Be Location Invisible – It is THE biggest rule in online dating. When meeting someone online for the first time, one should never give specific details about their location, be it the home address or other related information. The basic rule of thumb is to correspond with each other through e-mail or chat rooms around 6 or more times until you are confident that he or she can be trusted.

2) Avoid discussions about your financial information – Even after you feel like you can trust the person. Getting you to trust them is sometimes part of this scam. Ladies, don’t allow smooth talking fellows to mesmerize you into submission. There are scammers out there on the World Wide Web whose sole purpose is to part you with your money and use online dating sites as a means to that end. If they ask more than 3 questions at a point in your communications that seems uncomfortable to you relating to finances, especially yours, consider that a red flag and move on with haste.

3) Listen carefully and verify – Here’s your motto, “find them in a lie, immediately say goodbye." Period! I have known my wife for over 30 years and I still do not know everything about her. So, you clearly do not “know" who you’re really talking to online, so be very careful. It may be difficult at first if you’re new to using online dating sites but, given time, you’ll be able to spot the difference between sincerity and plain old manipulation. Just listen to each and every word they say. The advantage of online dating is that one is given time to step back and meticulously process and digest the correspondent’s story.

4) Tell a trusted friend what you are up to – When you get to that final stage in your internet courtship in which you arrange a face-to-face, always meet in a public place. Drive your own car. Tell someone where you are going, who you are meeting. Bring a retired Navy Seal with you for protection. I will even go with you for a small fee. Do you get my drift, do ya feel me?

There you have it. Clearly there are pros and cons to internet dating, but you are now armed with enough information to pursue this option to finding true love safely. Online dating sites can be lots of fun if you have the information and take the appropriate precautions. It sure as heck beats going out to bars and other similar venues. You might be looked on as being “different" for using online dating sites, but when you find the love of your life you will be the one to have the last laugh.

Warm regards,

Kenny Anderson