To possess means to own. Do we own our partner? Do we own their time? Are they our slaves? If you ask anybody these questions, you will hear a definite no. But some of those who say no may be very possessive about their partner. The relationship breaks down after sometime hurting both the partners very badly.



Why are some people so possessive? Is that a complex of some kind? Are they afraid that their partner may be snatched away by somebody else? Or do they want their partner to spend all the time with them and no body else? Does suspicion come in to picture? Suppose you come across some emails of your partner. Would you look at them? Would you then ask your partner about the mails? What if your partner is late on a day? Are you happy to see them back or you are angry about their coming late? Do you demand the explanation for being late?

If your partner is speaking on phone in a low voice, does that make you feel suspicious? Do you suspect that they may be speaking with their past lover?

If someone sends an invitation to your partner for some party, do you insist that they should not go alone? Those who are possessive will try to control every minute of their partner's life. They never allow the partner to use anything gifted to them by anybody else. They do not want the partner to talk about the past. They rather hate that. They treat themselves as the superior of their partner and try and control every activity. In the end the partner refuses to take this any more and the relationship breaks-up.

To love somebody is a great feeling. But the result of love should be pleasure for both the partners. If one partner feels like an animal in cage, that is not true love.