Do you have a "why not me" attitude? By this I mean the ability to easily imagine yourself achieving success even though the goals you set for yourself might seem beyond your reach. If you have a "why not me" attitude you see somebody who has made a huge success and you think "I can do that: if that worked to bring him success, why not me" or "I can do that: if she can overcome her difficulties, I can overcome mine too". Seeing somebody else's success does not invoke envy, it acts as an inspiration for you to strive to reach your goals.



If you don't have this attitude, it is all too easy for you to think of any number of reasons why you might fail in anything you attempt. Just admitting to the possibility of failure will open the door to increasingly negative ideas which will surge in and prevent you from setting ambitious goals for yourself. The key is that you have to create and maintain a positive mental image of yourself. This won't happen if you think that all rich successful people must be different from you, better in some way and possess some secret power necessary to success. For instance, if you take away the millions of dollars, don't you think Bill Gates might seem less special and maybe even a little geeky?

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not" - Author Unknown

There is a certain type of person who has the opposite to the "why not me" attitude. They have the "if only" attitude. These people are scornful of successful people but, underneath they are envious. Take, for example, the couch potato who sees a beautiful actress on TV and says "I could look as good as her if only I had her money". The truth usually is that the actress has worked hard to look the best she can by following careful diet and exercise regimes and by taking good care of her hair and skin. By focusing on the fact that the actress is wealthy, the couch potato seeks to avoid accepting responsibility for her thick waist, muddy complexion and ratty hair. Even a fortune could not get the potato to give up her place on the couch in favour of exercising and pursuing physical improvement. She would be exactly the same person but with more money, and the money would be completely wasted on her; her mentality would still be that of a victim of circumstance; if she had one million dollars, she would envy a person with two million.

"You can't be envious and happy at the same time". - "Harold Coffin

It is not only women who have the "if only" attitude. There are men who sit in bars with their friends talking about successful business owners and say things like "That could be me if only I had his money". The point these misguided individuals fail to grasp is that the wealth did not bring success, it happened the opposite way round. If these bar-room philosophers were given a fortune, they would not use it to build success and increase their wealth, all they would manage to do would be to spend the money.

Success requires effort and a positive attitude where there is no room (indeed, no need) for the corrosive emotion of envy. If you adopt an "if only" attitude, you will be declaring yourself a failure without even making a bid for success

"Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has." - Harold Coffin