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Reasons Men Have Affairs

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There are many different reasons why men leave relationships or refuse to settle down with the woman they are with. It's important for women to take a good look at these reasons. To their surprise and delight, they will discover that most of the reasons why men leave have nothing to do with them.



Some men cling to the ghost of past relationships, idealizing an old love and deciding they'll never find a person like that again. It feels safer to hold onto the past than risk failure with someone who is available today. These men prefer to dwell in a memory than to face the reality of present day life.

For some, this memory goes back to their mothers. No woman can live up to mom, or to any other woman they idealize. They begin to imagine that these other women were perfect and gave them unconditional love. Whatever their present girlfriend does is compared with that. No woman can win over an idealized memory. These men are living in dreams.

Other men leave seeking excitement and challenge. Being with someone who loves them becomes boring and flat. After years of dating beautiful women who adored him but for whom he felt little, Frederick, a handsome, articulate architect, in his late thirties, finally fell in love. It was a tumultuous situation, however. "I was in love with Fern for three years,? he said. "But I left her three times and each time she came back, wanting me again. No other woman had done that before. Fern was very neurotic. I guess that's what attracted me.?

Some men find the lack of stability in a woman to be challenging, exciting and erotic. The unpredictability creates a situation where there is a constant sense of danger and threat of loss. This keeps these men constantly on the alert, so things never become routine. Excitement is confused with passion. There is a sense that, because of the turmoil, they are finally alive. After awhile it usually becomes too much.

"I finally left Fern and never went back,? Frederick said. ?It became too exhausting in the long run.?

When men are attracted to neurotic women, it is interesting to note that these men are often attracting a partner who is expressing what he is also going through inside. She may be acting out what he is feeling and not able to express. When he finally becomes angry with the woman, he is really angry with himself. What we cannot accept in another is always something we haven't been able to accept in ourselves.

Other stresses also cause men to leave relationships. When a man is unhappy at his job, or when he feels pressured to commit, before he is ready, old dreams that haven't been fulfilled will come up to haunt him. He then will begin to feel that this is the time to live out these dreams. These men often feel justified in abruptly leave unsatisfying relationships in search of their fantasies and dreams.

When Renee, handsome, strong, the successful owner of a well know beauty salon left for a new woman he said, ?No one leaves if they're happy. After awhile you just begin to feel time is running out and you get tired of the bad stuff. You feel you don't need it anymore. You paid your dues. You're tired."

When asked why he felt the attraction to a different woman, he said, ?Part of it is just plain beauty. But also she was much younger. I like that. A young woman looks up to a guy because he's older and can do all these things for her, and he adores her because she's young, pretty and makes him look good and feel good and proud." Implicit in this is a deep need men have to be looked up to, valued, respected and recognized, not only by his peers, but by the woman he's with. Especially at a time in life when a man's sense of himself is wavering, it is extremely uplifting to have a woman who looks up to him and what he has achieved. Unfortunately, at this point, some wives of long standing can only see their man's deficits. If they then remind him of his failings constantly, it's often more than his ego can bear.

Though there are many more factors contributing to men leaving relationships, a common theme appears through all of them. The men are not necessarily responding to the woman they are leaving, but to their own inner needs, conflicts and dreams. Often they experience the woman in their lives simply as a part of their own sense of self. It is not the woman herself who necessarily causes the man to leave, but the man's feelings about himself, his own inner fantasy and quest.
Reasons Men Have Affairs

Today you are gonna learn the top 5 training principles that you MUST implement in order to make your physique and performance goals… a reality.  But, before I open the info-floodgates, there is something you’ve got to understand.  Men… all men, should recognize that we are athletes and our training programs must reflect this.

Even if you’re a ‘pencil pusher’ or a ‘white collar crook’, the essence of your being is athletic. In order to see any type of fitness results it is essential to recognize that Squats, Power Cleans, 40 Yard Dashes and Vertical Jumps are not only for NFL Combine participants… they are for you!

1. You’re An Athlete By Design  The foundation principle of everything that I teach all begins with one extremely powerful phrase:

“We are primal beings living in a modern world"

Our physical bodies have been unchanged for thousands of years.  In fact, today, our bodies are an exact expression of what our ancestors were over 100,000 years ago. It is believed that it takes about 100,000 years for 0.001percent of a genome to change… so yourself and Primal Man are for all intents and purposes… the same. 

What has changed is how WE have chosen to live, if you can even call it that.  As we have ‘advanced’ in technology we have regressed in physical strength and stature.  

We function at a much lower capacity than were inherently capable of.  This is analogous to those people who buy off-road vehicles that will never see anything but concrete!  You’ve been given the ultimate athletic tool… use it.

2. Short, Hard and Intense Workouts Yield Lean, Hard and Muscular BodiesWhen you spend over an hour in the gym sitting on useless ‘fitness machines’ while you’re waiting to do your ‘next set’…your nervous system’s primal response is to release Cortisol and Glucocorticoids - which are stress hormones, (these make you sick, sad, fat and, stupid) in response to your body thinking… “Holy Cow, we’ve been training for over an hour… perhaps we’re being chased by a tiger and need to preserve body fat", then it begins sacrificing muscle tissue for energy! This is called The Catabolic Effect. Also, workouts exceeding 1 hour have been shown to be associated with a rapid decrease in androgen levels.This is why marathon runners look so emaciated… id much rather look like one of those Lock, Stock & Ready Sprinters with muscles rippling across their backs and abs.

3. Aerobics and Cardio Training Is Boring & Ineffective

Strength coach Charles Poliquin has coined the phrase “Chunky Aerobic Instructor Syndrome" (CAIS).

You’ve seen them, they do cardio all day long… don’t you think that they would be a bit leaner?  Well, there is a scientific reason as to why they are cubby even though they bounce up and down on those colorful blocks all day long.  In fact research has shown that aerobic instructors who taught an average of 3 hours a day maintained a body fat of 22-24% - mind you, that Olympic athletes hover around 9%.Especially with repetitive exercises like aerobics the body adapts quickly to the stimulus and ceases to respond to the stimulus.  Also, you begin to become very fuel-efficient… Listen, think of a metabolism that has adapted to long treks of cardio as being a Honda… it burns very little fuel (i.e. fat) but can go miles and miles.  Think of a metabolism that is roaring with increased mitochondria activity (as is present in someone who weight trains with circuits) as a Hummer, large fuel combusting metabolism!

Here's Why this is so important!  You want a stronger heart, without the fat saving response of long boring cardio treks.  That is why I teach my clients how to do work capacity sets. 

We take 4-6 exercises and complete them back to back with no rest and aim to complete them all with in about 2 minutes… if your heart is not ready to pound out of your chest after that, then maybe you should visit your veterinarian!

Here’s a simple circuit that you can do at home - first 20 squats, then 20 lunges, then ‘step ups’ on a bench 10 each leg, finally do 10 squat jumps and get it all done in less than 90 seconds!  Kick-ass workout!

We begin every session with Plyometrics and then get right into 3-5 “work capacity" sets for upper and lower body.

4. Get High on Oxygen & Sunshine

Besides the fact that training on treadmills and ‘sit down’ exercise equipment is less effective than getting your feet on the ground and learning how to use your own bodyweight, training indoors can be detrimental to your performance and fitness results.

As ‘primal beings’ we are in need of several vital elements and forms of energy.  The suns rays are nourishing to your mind as well as body.  It is well documented that those who live in the cooler northern climates that enjoy less sunshine through out the year are several times more likely to suffer from depression.

Also, if you’re like most Americans you work and live indoors (maybe). In fact, the average person spends 90% of their time indoors.  Several health experts have propounded that our homes and workplace are the most toxic environments in our lives.  Many studies have stated that toxic particles and fumes found in your home and workplace include: air fresheners, spray starch, paints, mothballs and even ‘new car’ smell kills more people every year than automobile accidents!

So, what do you do?  Train in the great outdoors!  When I train my Strength Camp clients at Vinoy Park in St. Petersburg Florida, not only do we benefit from the sweet bay breeze but also the scenery is beautiful enough to give a nun spring fever!5. It’s Gotta Be Fun!

Drop out rates for exercise programs are almost as high as the drop out rate in my old middle school!  The bottom line is, if you don’t enjoy it – you wont do it.  The most effective way to ensure that you stick with your training program is to change it often.  This doesn’t mean hop from one modality to the next before you get any results.  It means stick with your weight-training program for a minimum of 90 day but change the exercises you use for each body part at least every 3 weeks. 

This not only keeps you interested but also, your nervous system will be challenged with the new exercises and be forced to adapt.  This yields fast and long-lasting results!
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About Author
Both Brenda Shoshanna & Elliott are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Brenda Shoshanna has sinced written about articles on various topics from Business Marketing, Depression Cure and Dating and Romance. Hear men tell you in their own words what they really feel about women and what makes a relationship work for them. This eye-opening book on modern relationships - Why Men Leave. Brenda Shoshanna's top article generates over 246000 views. to your Favourites.

Elliott has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fitness, Abdominal and Bankruptcy Law. Coach Elliott Hulse CSCS is Tampa Bay’s most ‘in demand’ Strength Coach and Fitness Trainer.  His programs get Athletes and “Tough Guys" fast, stronger, leaner and, meaner.  Get Your FREE Audio Mp3 Report Men’s Fitness Secrets Revealed at. Elliott's top article generates over 880 views. to your Favourites.
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