"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players" — so said Jacques in Shakespeare's "As You Like It." In our lifetimes, we shift from persona to persona as easily as we change clothes. We begin with son/daughter and gradually move toward father/mother, graduate, employee. We may also be soccer player, bridge builder, race car driver, computer guru, and on and on and on. The possible personae are endless. Many of us, however, assume that the "me," the "REAL me" of each persona is the same for all other personae. The challenge really comes when you want to change a persona that no longer "works" for you.



In many cases, external changes tempt us with well-accepted quick, but temporary, fixes. A new hairstyle. A new wardrobe. Beefing-up in the gym. Slimming down in the aerobics class. Purchasing a new car, house, gadget, "toy." As we launch these changes, we want to share our plan with others who in turn will be ready to pounce when permanent change eludes us. Therefore, if you want to make a change in how you perceive yourself or how others perceive you, you need to choose a long-term strategy. Seeds of change planted today may take a year to materialize.

First, establish your vision of your future self. Define how you will dress, what job you hold, how other people treat you, what successes you have. In effect, you are creating a product identity, or a service identity. You want to position yourself for your future. For example: All soap is still soap. However, some soap is positioned as a bar for use in bathing. Other soap is for laundering clothes. Still other soap is for washing dishes. Some is used for fighting "critters" that attack plants. Solid, liquid, powder, flakes — but all still soap!

Second, permit yourself sufficient time to refine your vision with as much detail as possible. When the vision is complete, you will feel peaceful in your tummy. In most cases, the vision is well established within 30 days. However, the timeline is not set in concrete. You have to be satisfied and, ultimately, convinced that your vision is the one you want.

Third, with the vision established, you are now ready to move to rehearsing the new persona. Take steps that call little attention to the changes you are making. For example, try beginning with words or simple phrases --- your vocabulary. Identify the words you say repeatedly. Most people have fewer than 100 strong words that they use frequently. List each word so you can track your uses. In your tracking, identify the people at whom you direct the words. Then, ask yourself how you are using the words — to encourage, to manipulate, to discipline, to stimulate, to belittle, to intimidate, to boost, to challenge, to applaud. As your understanding of your vocabulary grows, assess each word to determine how it fits with your vision of your future persona. Keep the ones that work. Find new words to add to your list. Listen for words that others use that you believe will work with your new persona.

Fourth, practice using your list of new words in all kinds of situations until you understand the reactions you are getting from people. Using your observational skills, look for changes, even small ones, that signal that your listeners are sensing a change in you. Mentally, internalize your observations. Continue rehearsing your vocabulary until the emerging persona belongs to you.

Fifth, you now graduate to entire sentences. Find ones that you use repeatedly. For example, consider "I love you" or "I appreciate your ...." As an exercise, see how many different ways you can say the sentence. Pay attention to what you emphasize. Hear the speed with which you speak the sentence. When you feel that you have internalized all of the variations, begin to experiment actually saying the sentence to individuals or groups --- strangers at first, then people closer to you, more important to you. Again, watch for changes in your listener's behavior. Finally decide which variations work with your defined vision.

Remarkably as you change your words and sentences, the vision gradually materializes as a reality. Your stride changes. Your posture changes. The way you gesture with your hands and face changes. In time, the vision becomes real. Or as the Old Horse in "The Velveteen Rabbit" said, "... once you are Real, your can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." What began as a re-branding of your persona, now emerges as the REAL, future YOU.