You might also be a redneck if you can't find a single woman who isn't prejudiced against guns and God, or who doesn't understand the value of spending five hours in a deer stand in November. Or if you're a redneck woman and your turnons include big rough-skinned hands, scuffed cowboy boots, and a discomfort with a necktie. If you've felt the wind through your hair in the back of a rusted-out '79 Ford pickup, understand why you pick your feet up in a cow pasture, and have been acquainted at least once with the luxuries of a two-seater outhouse - you don't seem to fit into the world as it's becoming today.



Rednecks are everywhere, but how the heck do you find them?

Fortunately, redneck does not mean ignorant, and it never did. Rednecks, like everyone else, are gathering online. There aren't a lot of places to find single redneck communities online, but like stray cattle, they tend to find the herd and go in the same direction - follow them, and they'll lead you to your river. Or whatever.

Start by looking for online communities that delve into the things beloved by all rednecks: Nascar (especially old style, not the new rules that are getting introduced), hunting, fishing, camping, four-wheeling. If you live in the right part of the country, you may find an online and offline community dedicated to mudding, that delicate sport that involves driving your four-wheel drive vehicle into the deepest and grossest mudhole you can locate.

A lot of Active Duty, National Guard and Reservist soldiers are rednecks. Focus more on Army and Marine units for the most concentrated redneck groups. You'll also find a large population of rednecks in the firefighting and police forces. Groups that appeal to gun lovers and Civil War re-enactments are great places to find rednecks.

It's pretty easy to find redneck guys, but redneck women are tougher. For one thing, while it's okay for women to infiltrate the guy cultures to a certain point, most redneck women stay in the more feminine side of things, and it's not so okay for guys to invade these. Check out this limited list of online specialities that appeal to redneck women.

Cooking from scratch websites are often a fantastic places to find redneck women. Look at the fringe benefits: you get biscuit recipes, and you're likely to find a woman who likes to cook. Downside: the frilly apron.

Another hot spot: homeschooling sites. You find women with baggage, true, but you also find women who are fiercely interested in raising kids right, to the point that they will sacrifice a large part of their own lives to do it. And these are women who don't get out a lot, which means you're likely to have several to choose from with no real competition.

Other really good places to find redneck women: sites where they are seeking out redneck men. Dating sites abound on the internet. The big mega sites that appeal to a huge general audience may yield some results, but digging a little deeper and investigating more niche sites that cater to tattoos, bikers, confederacy, country and cowgirls are probably going to get you more possibilities.

Don't limit yourself to only online searching, either. Keep in mind that you should find lots of single redneck women at county fairs, NASCAR events, rodeos, and, of course, the local honky tonk. Several states also have huge Redneck Games events that draw thousands of real redneck women.

While it may be a little difficult to locate the perfect redneck woman, once you do, you can count on having someone with you who is loyal and true and wants to share in the same things as you.