I tried to be a perfect mother. I tried to do it “all,” because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Then one day I woke up and realized that it was completely insane to try to think I could do it all. Something had to give. In my case, I had to get creative with the truth.



I worked in sales for years at an ad agency. Along the way, I become a mother of two girls…and a pathological liar. To manufacture more time and flexibility in order to take kids to appointments, do work at their school, I made up a fake client. It made it easier for me to keep track of (lying is much more difficult than telling the truth), and it became a “code” for my co-workers (the women of course) that I was on a “child duty” when I left the office. I would tell my co-workers that I was going to see “Charlie” over at “Corporate Solutions” for a meeting.

At the mention of “Charlie” or the “Corporate Solutions” meeting, my friends would know that one of the girls had to go to the doctor, or that I had playground duty at school. The code also kept them alert so if a problem came up while I was at “Charlie's,” they could call me on my cell. I can't tell you how many work problems I took care of while on playground duty at my kids' school.

I know lying is sad and twisted. But so is the fact that there are no good childcare options for families here in the United States, one of the richest countries in the world.

We are on our own to figure out how to care for our children and make a living. Did you know that:

- 70 percent of Moms with children under 18 work and that a recent study by Harvard and McGill Universities ranks the U.S. at the bottom of the world's nations in terms of providing a safety net for Moms and children?

- Of the 52 million working parents in the United States, it is estimated that between $50 billion and $300 billion dollars are lost every year because of lost job productivity due to parents being worried and stressed about their children in after school care or without proper care after-school.

Since the modern workplace pretends that my children don't exist, and this isn't going to change anytime soon, I am working around it. If the world is going to pretend I don't have kids, I am going to have imaginary clients.

You can read more of my tips on how to keep sane in my book, The White Trash Mom Handbook.

As excerpted from "42 Rules (tm) for Working Moms" Super Star Press, 2008.