Now before you think I'm heartless, let me qualify that. And then I’ll give you a much better alternative.



There are different things to be sorry about. If her cat died or her grandfather ran off with a stripper, that's OK. You can say you're sorry to hear those things. You didn't cause them (unless you introduced the stripper to her grandfather), so it's OK to express your sorrow -- which is where the word "sorry" comes from.

No. The kind of 'sorry' I'm talking about is the kind you hear so many guys whimpering when they 'think' they've done something wrong. "I'm sorry for saying that" ... "I'm sorry my apartment's in a bit of a mess" ... "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have touched you like that" ..."I'm sorry I didn't phone you yesterday" ... "I'm sorry, I forgot your birthday" ... "I'm sorry, I was coming on a bit strong there."

Don't ever use 'sorry' in situations like these -- ever.

The reason is this. Saying the word puts you in a position of submissiveness. And this is exactly where you never want to be with a female.

It's not because you may be wrong, but simply because women crave strong, assured leadership from a man. And when you start getting submissive, you become weak -- a wimp. You're describing a state, as in 'I am being in a state of regret for having done something'. The strong, confident man doesn't get into that sort of state. And neither should you.

If you must make a remark, just say "You're right". Or reframe it. "You're right, I forgot your birthday. But wait 'til you see what you're getting for Christmas."

Get the picture?

Now, having said all that, I accept there will be times when you genuinely want to apologize for something. You may have accidentally stood on her foot, or introduced her as Mabel instead of Maude.

If that happens, I'll tell you how to do it. Just say "Forgive me."

Instead of, "I'm sorry I introduced you as Mabel," say "Forgive me," - as in, "Forgive me for introducing you as Mabel."

You might think I'm nitpicking. I know the words sound the same on the surface, but psychologically there's a world of difference.

Think of it this way. When you say 'forgive me', you're not describing your state. You're actually asking HER to do something. And although her 'logical' mind will accept that you're expressing regret, her unconscious mind will acknowledge that you're still in control.

And the underlying point, again, is that women want men who are in control.

So expunge the word 'sorry' from your vocabulary. It's a useless wimp word. And if you absolutely must say something, ask her to forgive you.

If you don't get the importance of this, read the article again. If you're still not sure, then please trust me.