What are your frames? Do you frame it as a mutual cooperation? Or frame it as 'I am right, you're wrong'? Do you frame it as, 'You need me to satisfy this particular need'? Or do you frame it as 'I am going to help you figure out what you want and need in this transaction and I intend to give it to you'?



Before you begin, take a moment to identify the frames you are starting with. Don't come up with the frame you *think* you should be starting with, but the *actual* frame that you have been starting with. It is probably different from person to person, but ultimately, you have your own agenda set from the get go and by identifying what exactly this is, you have the power to change it if necessary.

The following are two frames which my students came up with.

"I am here to help you get what you want."

And, "I want to find out what you need.'

And here's some insight into these two frames:

When you say, 'I am here to help you get what you want', you are inserting yourself into the picture. You are the 'I'. Getting what they want includes you. When you say, 'I want to find out what you need', you are finding out information, not performing an action and you are not in the frame.

Insert yourself into the buyer's mind so that you are a part of the answer.

You have to take action. Setting the frame from the start is the best way to take action. The frame of 'I am going to help you get what you want' is an excellent way to start any interaction.

You might come up against this situation: maybe what this prospect wants is *not* to do business with you because you are not a good fit. That's great. I consistently help people to not do business with me. It's a waste of their time, it's a waste of your time. The absolute best thing to do is to say goodbye and part on friendly terms. No problem.

However, if you aren't inserting yourself correctly into the frame at the very start, then you run the risk of having bigger problems to contend with. That bigger problem is that you are not seen as a person of action who they will want to work with.

This is subtle. Even unnoticeable. But subtleties count in a big way. The person who sets the frame wins. Consider what the frame is that you are setting and let this be foremost in your mind as you enter into the situation that you're entering into.

If you leave yourself out of the frame, your prospect will know this. The may simply thank you for the information you've given them and then leave.

There's nothing manipulative in my opinion about inserting yourself into the frame. After all, they came to see you, or you came to see them and they let you in. It would be manipulative if you tried to give them something they didn't need or want.

As the saying goes, 'You never get a second chance to make a first impression.' I'd go even further and say, 'You never get a second chance to powerfully, persuasively, positively set that first frame with yourself as the solution to your prospect's needs and wants.'

Have this as your intention as you begin.