It was much unfortunate, shocking and ultimate sorrow to lose 32 of our youngsters in Virginia Tech Massacre. They could have been entrepreneurs, medical doctors, lawyers, movie stars, athlete champions, media persons, engineers and others. Not only it is very important to identify potential killers and stop them before picking up a weapon, but also to prevent someone like Cho Seung-Hui from being a killer and help victims to move on with their lives better.



Through his personal tape to NBC, Cho Seung-Hui told the world that some ones pushed him as much as they wanted just because they could, that he was pushed to a corner and left one option. Therefore he wanted to show them how capable a human being could be. He announced his plan on Virginia tech website right before his shooting. Cho was from an immigrant family. Per his former classmates, Cho was bullied in front of whole class for his shyness and the strange way he talked. In one of his previous writings, he described an angry son chocked his stepfather. From the description, we can tell that Cho wanted to be recognized and appreciated and longed for love, like most of us. Cho seemed to have intense stress and anger like some of us, but he did not manage his stress well. In survey after survey, more than 50% of adults in the U.S. is experiencing high stress in their daily lives.

Isolated people are prone to stress. Cho's roommates and teachers in Virginia tech said that he was "a loner." Acute Stress can affect our whole body. Stress can cause inability to think clearly or make right decisions, which is what we need most to find a way to get out of stress. Cho also had anger, loneliness, readiness to explode, excessive resentment and other negative stress symptoms. What symptoms do YOU already have? Please don't forget the people around you.

The emotional experience is stored in long-term memory at the hippocampus (memory center). That is why Cho could not forget the humiliation in the past, and the direct and indirect victims in Virginia Tech can suffer from their memory of the shooting for a long time.

Relaxation exercises are usually the first line to have the symptomatic relief. There are much more kinds of relaxation than deep breathing, meditation and Yoga. The more choices a person has, the easier or quicker the person can return to his/her normal function and figure out the solution to get out of the stress. In Cho's case, he seemed only enjoying music and TV, and was a loner.

Besides relaxation, Cho needed some human software update. There are ways to over come shyness and improper speaking. On his personal tape after shooting spree, Cho spoke very fluently--he did improve. Cho must have assumed that every one would treat him the same when his roommates tried to talk to him. Somehow his memory and interpretation of the past, one of the limits in our lives, stopped him from developing new friendship in Virginia Tech and other network. For the same reason, the victims of Virginia Tech shooting and other situations need to be aware of this limit, not let their memory or interpretation of the past limit themselves, and look for help if needed. The sooner we act, the better we recover.

One article mentioned normal social interactions. Being normal in a new society is only a matter of relearning. Right learning sources and adequate practices can shorten the process. If someone humiliated him for his accent or action, he should not have taken it personally, or could ask that person to speak in Korean.

Some rich might have abused their power and manipulated Cho, but not all rich. Not being rich does mean, "Won't be rich." Many millionaires or even billionaires started out poor, either as natives or immigrants, such as J.C. Penny, Ray Kroc and Weili Dai. There are bridges to success out there for a poor immigrant. Instead of acting out and killing so many innocent people, Cho could have found his success models, studied them, followed their paths, asked for their guidance if possible, and used the Psychological technique called "act as if." By being a loner with a mind narrowed by stress, it was almost impossible for Cho to have many resources or try various methods.

In terms of his relationships or other issues, there are ways to work out as well, such as position change. But Cho had to acknowledge his needs and go out to look for helps.

On the other hand, should Cho be bullied in front of whole class for his shyness and his strange way of talking, or "pushed" by some people as much as they want? The answer should be "no," but it happens a lot in reality.

James Alan Fox, a professor of criminal justice at Northeastern University in Boston, who has spent 25 years studying this topic and written five books about it, also pointed out: "We've become much more of a competitive society. We admire the winners and we pity the losers. We have no tolerance for them. We ridicule them and vote them off the island. And we laugh at them when they can't sing, just like on American Idol."

Usually, once an environment, big or small, has formulated an opinion upon some one, it can be very hard to change. What his high school fellows did to Cho was cruel, but it happens almost anywhere to someone who is "insufficient." We may not always be able to change our immediate surroundings, but we can leave for a better one. Could Cho have reacted his "bad treatment" better or go to a new high school for a fresh start, his fundamental problems could have been resolved earlier. However our information about Cho and his environment is limited.

To manage simple stress, relaxation or simple software update may be enough. For complex and intense stress, we need Comprehensive Stress Managementthat--more relaxation for quicker refreshment, reduce the internal source(s) or stress by updating associated human software to, look into surroundings to reduce external source(s)or stress. Cho did not seem to have health issue. Like other Psychiatrists said, his regular attending school and keeping good personal hygiene did not indicate significant pathology, which is why that it is not always easy to predict violence. Between a person's inside and outside worlds, good communication and self-presentation and a strong network are the best liaisons.

In summary, following might help Cho to handle his stress better and prevent him killing so many innocent people:

1. Developed more hobbies, found more fun and built a

great relaxation hierarchy.

2. Found an excellent learning source to study his new society of and practice adequately, including communication, self-presentation, making friends, building up a network, etc.

3. Not to take "bad treatment" personally. If someone humiliated him for his accent or action, asked that person to speak in Korean.

4. Moved to another high school for a fresh tart.

5. Found his success models, studied them, followed their paths, asked for their guidance if possible, and "acted as if."

6. Continued his health maintenance.

Cho needed a custom program that targeted his needs. The emphais of the program should be stress management with hands-on practices. However, not knowing Cho personally can limit our solution.

How many negative stress symptoms do YOU have? How about the people around YOU? The sooner we act, the sooner we are in control.