Don't get me wrong. It's vitally important to work towards a great and fulfilling relationship - which of course does not happen over night. It takes time to really understand each other, to appreciate the differences, and to find that bliss that some couples are blessed with.



Good solid honest advice is one of the best things you could have when making a relationship decision. The right advice from the right people could make all the difference when evaluating a mate or situation.

The media often portrays relationships as the saving grace of all problems, but they often fall very short of providing a strategy and game play of getting and nurturing those relationships. Some how these relationships just keep getting better, and if they don't - you simply part with a smile on your face and move on to the next victim.

Erm ok.

If you hear the neighbours whispering when you leave the house - they could be referring to you as either a spineless jellyfish or a quitter, depending on whether you stay in the unhappy relationship or leave.

My advice to you - is to be smart right from the beginning. Look out for the signs of an healthy relationship or lover from day one. Be aware, don't make excuses for their behaviour, but also there is no need to be unreasonable or unrealistic in your expectations. As over 60% of marriages now end in divorce - devour this sound advice when making your decisions.

Be Awake Be Aware.

Unhealthy Relationship Types to Avoid

1. The Angry

I know I don't have to say it - but I will anyway. Physical abuse is not acceptable. If you are at the receiving end, get out now.

If you want to salvage and work on the 'relationship' only do so from a safe distance and only then with the highest regard for your personal safety.

You are not responsible for their happiness, childhood, moods or feelings. We are only responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and happiness. Seek professional advice and support as you are not their therapist.

2. The Bitter Pill

They are never happy for you or your achievements. They never notice a new shirt, haircut, or accessory. They seek any opportunity to mimize your success and every opportniuty to highlight a negative occurance or mistake.

They are emotional vampires. Putting you and your accomplishments down makes their small and insignificant selves feel better

Get out while you still have a back bone. If want to attempt to salvage this 'relationship' I recommend doing so with the help of a neutral third party - who will help point out their behaviour in a non-threatening way.

3. The Love Rat

They are very suspcious when it comes to your cell phone and emails, but are very secretive about their business. You feel something is not right, but can't quite figure out why.

They love to project their guilty selves on to you - making you responsible for their suspicions, moods, stress and taxes.

Collect evidence. Examine it. Get out soon.

4. The Power Trip

Do they sulk and get moody if you go out with your friends or family?

Does your beloved suddenly become sick, stuck in traffic or experience something 'major' at work just before your big night out?

They are threatened by those who are importance to you. They are still insecure and threatened despite all your reassurances.

Ask yourself how long you are willing to put up with this? However if you wish to work on this - do so with the help on a neutral third party.

5. The Libido Has Left The Room

Stress and tension could be the result of vastly differing drives, or a sudden loss of libido.

This could be easily rectified by a bit of help and support in other areas of your lives. Speak openly with your beloved to better understand the situation.

A healthy, honest and sensitive approach is recommended in this situation. Try and look beyond the obvious, as problems in the bedroom could actually be a cover for other feelings such as anger, lack of intimacy, fatigue and resentment.

6. The Free Spirit

They are still a 60's wild child. Although not so free and single.

They can't hold down a regular job, are needy and desire a person who will take care of them. What they really need is a parent and not a partner.

You will end up drained, tired and resentful as you end up giving more than you get.

7. Faulty Goods

A long list of hurts is what these desperate 'victims' cling to.

If only they had the strength and courage to write these hurts down and pick out the patterns.

Due to the fragile nature of their egos, they will never accept your love and attention as the 'real deal'.

You may want to involve a neutral third party so that their negativity can be pointed out to them. You may end up tired of re-assuring them. You have been warned.

8. I'm So Great - Because Mom Says So

They are wonderful and wholesome just like apple pie. At least that's what they were told at home. They can do no wrong, therefore it is all your fault.

They will always be the innocent party, as they could never do anything wrong. And what's worse - they will be very attached to their mother's or father's apron strings.

Houston we have a problem. Bring them back down to earth asap. Involvement of a neutral third party may open their eyes a bit.

Kick em to the curb if they still cling on to the 'i'm so wonderful' myth.

9. No Dirtiness - Unless it Verbal

What is that smell?! If you're like me and your stomach is not so strong, then poor personal and hygiene habits could make you run for the hills. Speed is of the essence.

We all value hygiene and self care. Ask yourself why you would want to spend time with someone who hasn't bothered to look and smell good for you.

10. I'm Over Here!

These people care more about themselves than you. That's the cold, hard truth of it. They want you to fuss over them, be there for them, but do think of expecting anything in return.

Implement the 'three strikes and you're out' rule. Tell them in simple and straightforward terms - the minimum behaviour, manners and consideration that you expect from them. If they still don't get after the second 'talk' send them on their way.

You are not their slave. Get out pronto.

Now that you have the ' 10 signs ' under your belt, you will be far more prepared when dealing with difficult situations. However always keep in mind that your behaviour may also have something to do with theirs. Therefore always first look at yourself and how you are contributing to the relationship. If you feel that you have been civil and reasonable, have honestly expressed your thoughts and things still haven't improved (despite some neutral third party help), then it's time to make some tough decisions.

Just keep in mind that you deserve to be treated with respect, consideration, and appreciation at all times.

To your health and happiness!