We all need a social support network. Unfortunately, the modern pace of life, the dissolution of extended families in Western society, and the cumulative effects of hurt and distrust have caused many people to become isolated and lonely with no one to turn to. The effects of isolation on people's health and well being are enormous. Isolation produces stress, loneliness, low self esteem and under chronic pressure mental ill health. Women in particular have throughout history relied upon other women to be their confessors, helpers and comforters in times of trouble. Modern women need this support no less than their historic counterparts.

However, the times we need a social support network are often those times when we are least able to be a support to others. The good news is we are not all going through rough patches at the same time and when you are doing better you can be there for someone else. Divorce, relationship breakdowns, job loss, the death of a loved one, illness, and recovery from abuse can leave us feeling empty, exhausted and totally wiped out. We can feel that we have nothing left to give ourselves let alone anyone else. However, we may be doing ourselves a vast disservice. If this is you, ask yourself what you can do and take whatever small steps you are able to take.

So how do women find other women who they can trust and who are in turn prepared to act as a support system for them? The first step to building a social support network is to start where you are at. Very few people have no one in their life with whom they can develop a stronger, more supportive relationship. Look at who is in your life now. Who do you know? Who could you call a friend, even if not a close friend? How can you build and strengthen the relationships you already have?

The next aspect to building a social support network is to be open to meeting new people. Be willing to take a chance and let new people into your life even if you have been hurt in the past. Chances are, if you have been very hurt by people you may have been na've, telling them too much too soon and trusting people who hadn't earned your trust. If this is you, why not try again but this time with a little more wisdom?

Finally, be a little bit choosy. You are not going to get on with everyone and it can be more trouble than it is worth to try. Try to include people you have something in common with or who have similar values. If you find confronting or abrasive people stressful then it won't work to have them as a support system.

Building and developing a support group that can get you through those rough times is very important for everyone but especially women. The ability to create a truly supportive social network that is beneficial and uplifting will come back to your ability to choose wisely, to invest in the relationships and to open up with wisdom over time. If you do this, you will have a social support network behind you that many will envy.