Death and dying has always been an interesting issue to understand and interpret. Each person has his or her own view of death and attitude towards it. However, the society as the main influencer has a huge impact on people's perception of death. The attitudes of the society towards death have been changing over the time. Fear has always been one of the most common attitudes towards death. However, today's society has developed many other attitudes.
1. Attitudes towards death change over a life period of the person.
When a baby is born he or she does not understand what death means. The concept of death (it is unavoidable, all living things die and we will eventually die some day) has to be developed to understand death and have an attitude concerning it. When little people start understanding death they try to disagree with it and they believe that they can resist it. As the person grows and the concept of death is already developed death becomes a natural thing and viewed totally different. People do not try to argue with the meaning of death.
A great number of scholars investigated the issue of death.
a) Sigmund Freud recognized that people have difficulties with the dying people.
b) Abram Rosenblatt found that when people reminded of their mortality they react more harshly toward moral transgressors and become more favorably disposed toward those who uphold their values.
c) Thomas Aquinus stated that people are afraid of death not only when they feel its presence but even when they think about it.
The ability to understand the reality of death and realize its impact on us, ability to discuss our fears about death helps to fully live our lives.
2. American society happens to deny the reality of death. This is the reason why people always get confused with death issues. In medieval times, people in the western world approached death in a more natural way than in present day. Technology has separated westerners from the fundamentals of their biological existence which has resulted in the realities of death being obscured (Foos-Graber, 1989, p.6).
Recently the issue of death has been raised in the U.S. A huge role was played by the media that covers all "important deaths". Not only death facts have been reported but also emotional side has been usually brought up. Another thing that makes people think about death and fear it is the emergence of HIV/AIDS.
The only way people witness death is through television. Many have no real experience dealing with the death of close relative or a loved one. So, when it happens people just do not know how to deal with it. Another aspect that effects person's perception of death is his or her religious believes or non-believes. Different religions view death differently. People of different occupations also view death differently. A medical worker would probably view death as a professional failure while, for example, an artist would take it emotionally and could even be inspired to devote something to the person that died. Another thing that effects the perception and attitude towards death is the circumstances of death. There would be a totally different position about "good death" (when an old person dies) and a death of a teenager in a car accident.
Our society today views the death of a child as more traumatic than the death of an adult. This is because it is rare in the U.S. to die young. It could be argued that whereas social birth often precedes physical birth, this is reversed with older people, as their status declines with age. Similarly, the lethally ill suffer also from 'social dying', where others increasingly leave them. 'There are many ways in which people can approach their own and other's death, but no one chooses their approach independently of others' (Mulhall, 1996).
To fully live our lives we should live our lives as if we knew we only had days to live. Thomas Aquinas describes people's fear of death by making the statement, " Man (woman) shuns death not only when he (she) feels its presence, but also he (she) thinks of it," (Choron, 1964, p.71).
Sociology Death And Dying
When someone close to us dies, we have the opportunity to experience ourselves differently in ways we cannot anticipate. Regardless of our relationship with the dead person, the resultant feelings and changing self-awareness offers profound ways in which to experience ourselves and others differently. When a person is alive, there is consensual understanding that they are somehow contained or associated within their body i.e. their physical being, even if our experience of them continues when they are not physically in our presence.
When the person dies, we can no longer locate them within that physical form, external to ourselves. We are left with our memories, associations, changing and unfolding sense of who we and they are. In talking to others about the dead person, we can be challenged as to who we believe them to be, sometimes resisting information that contradicts our internal picture of them. However, this time we are left with no opportunity check out or confirm contradictory information with the physical being we know as them. We must, in some way, incorporate new pictures of them (presented through the perceptual eyes of others) into our changing view of that person shaped through our own perceptual system.
It can be a highly confronting experience to encounter the intangible grasping of the identity of another when all attempts are confounded by the bombardment of others' perceptual frameworks. We are indeed challenged existentially to embrace our phenomenological existential unfixed selves. This can be a highly provocative and painful process which, if resisted, can result in a spiralling depression or anxiety as we struggle to regain our equilibrium.
Models of grief, whilst possibly conveying the essence of the multiple experiences the bereaved person might encounter, do little justice to the enormity of the existential overwhelm an individual might experience. Whilst it would appear that stages do seem to exist, focus on working through them can inhibit our ability to make sense of the personalised existential challenges that grief presents. Focus on generalised staged models of disbelief, anger, depression and acceptance might even directly dissociate us from fully experiencing our existential angst by normalising the experience. By attributing our emotional and changed sense of self to a typical normed reality, we potentially dissociate ourselves from our changing phenomenological selves.
What is the alternative? How do we put time aside to consider our existential experiences and meanings of death whilst dealing with the practicalities involved in funerals and implications for changes to our lifestyle – which may be profound, depending on how the deceased person's life was interwoven with our own? The alternative is to be open to fully embracing the dying of another and, in turn, liberate ourselves from the fear of our own demise. By fully grasping that one day we too will die, we have the opportunity to embrace what it means to live and are free to choose or not to squander this precious currency called Our Life. And that life is not a fixed commodity measured by the dispassionate baptism of years but an unfolding stream of consciousness which constitutes our Existential Self.
Both Jeff Stats & Clare Mann are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Clare Mann has sinced written about articles on various topics from Death. Clare Mann is a Counselling Psychologist in Sydney Australia who specialises in assisting people to remove the myths of limitation in their lives.
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