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Stay At Home Dads

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As the working wife of a stay-at-home dad (SAHD), I can tell you first-hand that some people just don't know what to make of them … "Does he go to Mommy & Me classes?" "Has he always had a fondness for cleaning and grocery shopping?" "Why doesn't he have a real job?"



Through the years, I've come to realize that the quizzical looks, blank stares and not-so-polite comments are part of SAHD territory. Yet the truth is that dads make great parents, too. To be sure, transitioning to a SAHD household isn't easy. It's often fraught with discord and burnt macaroni and cheese along the way. However, the important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize – the little ones you brought into this world.

My husband and I re-arranged our lives ten years ago to create more balance for ourselves and our two children. We function as a team, complete with family meetings and chore lists. After all, when you're a working Mom and your husband is a SAHD, gender roles are less defined. Traditional roles become blurry. Operating as a team is a great way to stay connected, maintain communication and promote a positive sense of family.

As a working Mom, you hold a full-time job. As a SAHD, your husband works full-time, too. For you, ultimate success comes down to:

- understanding that your husband does not work for you and is not your personal assistant.

- respecting his approach to discipline and other parental responsibilities (especially if they are a bit different from yours).

- realizing that life will go on whether he stores the yogurts on the second shelf of the refrigerator or the first.

- maintaining the control to realize that you're not in control of what happens inside your home everyday – and being okay with that.

- never taking him for granted.

Naturally, not all men are cut out for the SAHD life. But if yours is, by all means embrace it if you can. At the end of the day, the benefits can be significant. The accolades and cheers I often hear are music to my ears – and the extra push I sometimes need to get through my day.

Indeed, you can be confident knowing that while you're at work, he's bandaging the boo-boos, preparing the meals, wiping up the spills – and your children – and generally running the show. What's more, he's cheering them on at their baseball games, rooting for them at their ice skating championships and helping them determine what “x” and “y” equals in time for the algebra test. That speaks volumes.

Just last week, a working friend of mine with a stay-at-home husband came home after a long day behind the desk to find him immersed in a backyard water balloon fight with their three children. "They hardly noticed me at all," she complained later to me. "Nobody came over to say hello or to ask me about my day."

At that very moment, I mounted my soapbox and congratulated my friend. “Your husband is a great success! He's swimming upstream against the stereotype of what a stay-at-home parent ought to be. He's carving a gratifying life out of being the best hands-on parent he can be. And he's building incredible relationships with your children.”

In fact, compared to their counterparts, children with involved dads tend to:

- perform better in school.

- develop more self-confidence.

- become stronger problem-solvers.

What is the bottom line? Now is a great time to be part of a SAHD family. Grab a water balloon and join in the fun.

As excerpted from "42 Rules (tm) for Working Moms" Super Star Press, 2008.
Stay At Home Dads
1.) It makes you more attractive to women. This has got to be one of the biggest myths around. Yes, as a stay at home dad you may have more contact with women and may even make some female friends but this doesn't mean that it makes you more desirable to women. For one thing as a new stay at home dad you are hardly looking your best. What with not having had five minutes to shave or brush your hair and clothes that are usually just thrown on and often have stains and residues of some sticky food substance that you didn't realise was there. Also stay-at-home-dads with young children are constantly accompanied by the lingering and unpleasant odours of vomit and poo. Added to this are the tired, red baggy eyes, the deepening lines of stress on the face, the fixed grin as you endure yet another tantrum and the slouched posture (caused by pushing a buggy with a buggy board or one that is too low down). Well, it would be a miracle if your own wife looked at you again, yet alone being considered irresistible to loads of women. Apart from all that you are normally focusing all your attention on your children and even in the unlikely event that a women did spare you an admiring glance you would probably be too busy to notice anyway.

2.) Stay at home dads get to drink beer and watch TV all day. Great sign me up! Seriously if this were true don't you think that nearly every man in the world would be clamouring for the job? The truth is that if you are a responsible parent you will be working harder as a home dad then you ever were in any ?normal' job. Think about it, the hours aren't 9-5 they're from whenever the kids get up (often pre-dawn) to the moment they go to bed (earliest 7pm, possibly midnight), and that's presuming that they sleep through the night. That's one hell of a long working day and guess what, it's not just 5 days a week with 4 weeks a year paid holiday either, it's 7 days a week and no paid holidays! Also the only TV you are likely to be able to watch certainly won't be anything you want to see, unless of course you love Cbeebies or the Disney Channel. And while the idea of having a beer or three whilst ?on duty' might be tempting and appealing at times, you would regret it the moment the kids started demanding things, having a tantrum or you had to focus on more than one thing at a time.

3.) Men do not make as good parents as women. The words ?sweeping generalisation' and ?sexist' spring to mind. There is no biological, psychological or physical reason why men can't be as good as parents as women. Contrary to popular belief women have no secret formula or magic ingredient that automatically makes them a good, natural parent. Some women would make terrible mothers, just as some men make terrible fathers, but it is unfair to assume that all men are incapable or inadequate before they are even given the chance. If a man said that female doctors were not as good as male doctors for example then there would, rightly, be a public outcry. So why is there no opposition when men's parenting skills are called into question? Stay at home dads are not trying to take over as mums, they are still Dads and are still behaving as dads even if they do spend more time with the children than the mothers.

4.) You must have rich wife/partner to be able to give up work. Not true. While your wife does have to have a reasonable income to cover the bills it is often possible to survive on one person's wage. It may require some economising and some sacrifices to be made, (no plasma screen TV or new car for you) but it is, more often than not, achievable. In this age of money matters and material possessions being status symbols it's easy to forget that when we were growing up one of our parents nearly always stayed at home with us as children and managed to cope. Besides what's the point of having a new plasma TV that the kids are going to smear with jam and sticky fingers or a new car that will soon be engulfed in sweet wrappers, crumbs, toys and muddy boot prints.

5.) Stay at home dads are not ?Real Men' What does it mean to be a real man? Just because you look after your children and show some compassion does not that you are either wimpy or gay. Many stay at home dads like sport, beer, women, cars and all the stereotypical things that men are supposed to like. The trouble is that you often haven't got the energy to play any sport, have too much responsibility to get drunk, haven't got the money to spend on cars and have a distinct lack of enthusiasm (as well as all the other reasons) about other women. Besides if being a ?real man' involves being loud, obnoxious and getting into fights on regular occasions than wouldn't you rather be seen as not a ?real man'?
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About Author
Both L. Lowell & Kevin Mccarthy are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

L. Lowell has sinced written about articles on various topics from Education, Family Concerns and Home Management. . L. Lowell's top article generates over 9900 views. to your Favourites.

Kevin Mccarthy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fishing, Cooking Tips and Recreation and Sports. Viist => for more information, advice and a place for all dads to share. Kevin Mccarthy's top article generates over 9900 views. to your Favourites.
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