Sometimes it can seem as though stay at home moms and working moms are battling against each other. The truth is, there are lots of women who stay at home with their children, and there are some moms who work. The other truth is, one of them is not better than the other. As moms, we all love our children, and we all want them to be happy. There are many advantages and disadvantages to both staying at home, and working outside of the home.
Staying at home with your children is great because you are able to be with them all day. You are able to bond more with your children, and instill more of your values and what you feel is important into your children. It also gives you a great feeling to be able to be with your children all the time. However, staying home with your children can also make them more dependent on you than most other children are toward their moms. It can make them fear leaving you, whether you're leaving them at school, or with the babysitter for a night off. The disadvantages to you are being on call all the time. It can make you feel like you want to tear your hair out! Also, although you have one of the hardest jobs, you're not actually bringing in an income. Although, today many moms are working over the internet, or with home businesses.
Mothers who work outside the home get their chance to be someone else other than 'mom.' They can concentrate on what they are trying to do much better than a mother who works at home. The only 'kids' they have in their hair are the ones they work with! Also, being away from your children more will foster a greater sense of independence in them. Disadvantages to working outside the home are obvious. You don't get as much time to spend with your children, and this can make you feel guilty or neglectful. Also, you have to know that whoever may be your children's caretakers will have an impact on what your children grow to believe.
Whether we work outside the home, or stay at home with our kids, we are all mothers. We all want the same things for our children. Happiness, opportunities, and we want to give them all we can. Being a mother is hard enough today. We need to stick together as moms, whatever kind of mom we are. Supporting each other in motherhood and in life is what is important. Support each other's decisions and be proud of the decision that you have made. Let's end the war!
Stay At Home Vs Working Moms
No wonder moms are wiped out. We are working hard...and are more than just 'busy'.
We juggle full time and part time jobs, corporate work and home offices. We utilize flextime, job-sharing and telecommuting. Some of us even run our own businesses.
And that's just the beginning.
When we leave our 'jobs', we often jump into our true love, parenting. Homework, sports, music, clubs, youth groups, teacher conferences and more. We strive very hard to balance it all. We know we cannot do everything, but we do try to choose our priorities carefully. To channel our main focus on what is most important and valuable to us.
And that is precisely where many of us begin to fight the battle with frustration.
No matter what your individual schedule, you may feel as though you could use a bit more order and a little more relief in your day-to-day life. But if you are like many working mothers, you simply feel overwhelmed. And when you feel overwhelmed, you may not think there's any way to improve your situation.
Well, there is.
As a member of the vast working moms club, I am going to suggest a slightly difference approach - a new perspective - that may just work better for you. I call it the Working Mother's Challenge because when I talk to working mothers, they often sound locked into their own particular way of thinking. And it can be a challenge to change our way of thinking; to move from being stuck and feeling overwhelmed to a position of feeling more in control.
So my suggestion is simple. What if, instead of thinking that you have to work 'harder' or 'do more', the answer lies in trying 'different'? What if you challenge yourself to look for a fresh way of approaching an ongoing, frustrating task? After all, who says you have to do it the same way over and over? Especially if you are unhappy with the results.
One solution to coping with some of our feelings of frustration and overwhelm as working mothers lies in making little changes. One at a time, consistently and according to our own time table. As working moms, we are often accustomed to multitasking, juggling multiple challenges at a time. But sometimes that super-efficiency can work against us. Instead of spinning your wheels, working hard but effecting little change, try zeroing in on one irritation that is honestly bugging you.
Maybe it's...
- not feeling comfortable with your kids' after school
arrangements.
- always having to hunt for your keys. Again and again.
- coming home to a predictably messy, chaotic house.
- consistently missing deadlines. Even by just a little.
These irritations are small, but very real. It may surprise you how much better you will feel by fixing them. So take the energy you normally use to stress over these personal or professional issues and focus instead on finding just one solution that will actually change the result you are getting. Be willing to explore more than one fix, hunting down the answer that works best for you. Then stay with that solution, practicing it, until it no longer feels new and unfamiliar, but is a comfortable part of your routine.
Another key idea. The solutions you test don't need to be 'perfect'. In other words, your goal is to reduce OR eliminate your frustration about a particular challenge.
If you insist on only trying what you perceive as 'perfect' solutions, you will probably never even get started making a change. You will stay right where you are. Instead, look for answers that have the potential to make things better, at least to some degree. That is the litmus test for a solution worth your time and energy in implementing it.
Then once a week, once a month, or whatever works best for you, pick another irritation and find another genuine improvement. By using this approach, you are making consistent, tangible forward movement that you can feel and experience. You are actually reaping the rewards from your efforts. In addition, you are in control of what changes you make and when. You can slow down or speed up.
It is completely up to you.
And, best of all, you can kiss your nasty frustration habit good-bye!
Both L. J. Allen & Colleen Langenfeld are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
L. J. Allen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, Parenting and Self Esteem. Linda Allen is the co-founder of , a social networking site for women throughout the United States and Canada.. L. J. Allen's top article generates over 5400 views. to your Favourites.
Colleen Langenfeld has sinced written about articles on various topics from Parenting, Health and Parenting. Colleen Langenfeld energizes busy working mothers with career, organizing, meal-planning, parenting ideas and more using the free Working Mothers Great Idea Kit at
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