"I don't want to beat myself up because I'm not the big recruiter and didn't fly to the top of the company in 15 months..." And



"I want to get my self-esteem back. I have done a real good job of beating myself up, I want to take what I need, ignore the hype, and stop listening to the big hitter hype..."

The boys on stage in our business (and most everywhere else) like to strut their stuff, and like to lead with their successes, real or imagined (see the May 28 post "Don't Believe the Hype (He Says That's What It Is)"

What some women don't know when they hear these stories is that much of the "big money" they're being presented with is either imagined and hoped for, or there's a story behind the story that no one tells, certainly not the boys on stage.

My dear upline in my last company was a gent who has by now earned close to $30 million in his 20 years in the business. Very impressive. And true.

When I met him, he was earning $90k/mo.

Here's the story he told all the years I worked with him (5):

"I used to be a waiter. If I can do it, you can."

One of his top producers was another gent, and his story was this:

"I used to be a tuna boat fisherman. I could barely read my genealogy or figure out my paycheck. You think if I can do it, you can?"

So what is someone like me, with a Harvard degree, to think?

I thought what anyone would: They know something I don't, and I'm going to learn it, and right now. And that's what I set out to do.

Today, there's a new star at a 50 year old company, Shaklee. This is a gal I've known for years, Kathi Minsky. In her first 7 months there, she has hit the top spot, and is bringing into Shaklee some $200,000 in business per month, with her group. (!)

No one else has done that so fast in their 50 year history. So how did she do that, and why aren't you?

How do you think her story makes people feel, who have been there 30 years, and who don't do 20% of that? Especially when the male management holds her up and says - hey if SHE can do it, why aren't you? Arrgh.

Ladies - before you beat on yourself - GET THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY.

My upline was a waiter, indeed. We'll call him RJ. But here's what else I discovered YEARS later.

RJ's Dad had been in a network marketing company for YEARS. RJ grew up in a network marketing family. It happened that his father had qualified each year for an all-paid first class special trip and limo service for annual events the company held around the world. Until one year he missed his quota of $4k/mo in business, by less than $100, for one month of the year.

The company person told him he had not qualified to go to this all-paid annual event because he missed it by $100. The father was distraught, and within months, died of heart failure.

The son, RJ, was heart broken and upset about this. He had been part of his father's business. So he took some key people with him from that company, many of whom brought THEIR best people, and they all joined RJ's new company. Most of them came in at the $5k level, of which the sponsor was paid over 20%.

With their help, and a few structural innovations, my upline's check that first month was over $20k. And it continued to grow with the help of many experienced network marketers, most of whom came in at that $5k level.

But of course, NO ONE told us a word of this - this story behind the story. All we heard was the part about "I used to be a waiter". While that part happened to have been true, the boy HAD been a waiter, that's hardly all there was to his story, was it?

But of course, NO ONE told us this part. All we heard was the "I used to be a waiter" story.

These partial and superficial "pretend" stories cause others, especially women, to feel as though they too, can do this same thing and in that same time frame. Then, when they DON'T have those kind of results within a few months, they figure "I must not have what it takes" to earn such money fast, or find big hitters so fast, and they quit.

Isn't this supposed to be a business that helps empower others? But how can it when all we hear is the superficial "pretend story"?

The tuna boat fisherman's story behind the story is very similar. He was another gent with years of experience in the business, who brought people with him with more years of experience.

In the case of my friend, Kathi, she did indeed do these marvelous feats - in her first 7 months, she did what no one else has EVER done in 50 years in Shaklee. Out of 500,000 distributors, she is the only one who ever did what she did.

And that's the only story anyone hears about her.

It makes ANYONE and EVERYONE else feel like they must be a loser dud. After all, if SHE did it, why can't/didn't you?

She tells us her true story behind the story and you can hear it here.

(Scroll down to the archived call dated 6.3.05 and entitled "Live Big Kahuna Interview: The Story Behind the story. Kim interviews Kathi Minsky. Shaklee Rep, who hit the top spot in her first 7 months with the company" )

Remember, next time you hear a story of success that intrigues you, stories which CAN and DO happen, find out FIRST if it's real or imagined or hoped for, and then, if it's actually true.

If true, GET THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY. So you know how this really happened, so you can do it if you want, and so you don't quit by mistake, thinking it was you. What if it's NOT you? What if it's something they just didn't tell you?

Don't ever give up by mistake too soon just because you didn't ever hear the story behind the story.. Things are not what they appear to be.