While some find the swinging lifestyle very attractive, others believe that it is disgusting and not something that should be done within a marriage. Everyone has his or her own beliefs about this, and generally speaking there isn't all that much middle ground. Is swinging right for your marriage? What are the reasons that you think it may be right? There are many questions one must ask ones self before jumping head first into the swinging lifestyle, even once, if they want their marriage to survive.



Many couples consider involving others in their sex life because they are bored with one another in the bedroom. This is usually an idea that is toyed with over time, until the couple realizes the fantasy. The problem is, any married couple needs to discuss what they hope the outcome of the swinging experience will do for their sexual relationship. If they believe that one time with another person or other people will be the end of the need for swinging they may want to reexamine their agenda to be sure. Simply put, a couple needs to discuss how often they will engage in this type of behavior and how they will communicate about what it is or is not doing for their sexual relationship.

Other couples involve others in their sexual lives because they are both open sexually and would like to experience new things, with new people together. This is the type of married couple that usually does the best with the swinging lifestyle. They aren't (at least knowingly) looking to fix something between them, they are just curious, and eager to try new things together. Because this couple is not seeking anything outside of the relationship that they couldn't already create on their own this couple usually can communicate quite freely about how often they would like to involve others in their sexual life and to what extent. Because the swinging partners are not fulfilling a need that the partner cannot, the sexual relations with others are usually mutually gratifying.

For others, one spouse may pressure the other into trying out the swinging lifestyle. This almost always leads to regrets, because even if both of the married couple enjoy the encounters in the moment, it invariably leads to resentment. The problem is that both people need to agree that they want to bring other people into their sex lives, because once it is done it can't be undone. Swinging is not something that should be attempted unless both spouses are sure that they are comfortable going forward. Pressuring of ones spouse to interact in this manner can lead to tension, hostility, and even emotional distance resulting in divorce.

This is not to say that many married couples do not engage in swinging and enjoy the experience very much. Many couples make their swinging lifestyle work for them quite well, usually because they have been open about their expectations and their fulfillment both physically and emotionally by such a lifestyle. Other couples engage in swinging for a time and agree together that it is not for them, and they go on to have a very happy, very monogamous relationship. Swinging is something that can be enjoyed or not, but if married couples communicate and make these decisions together all will usually be well.