"Use the big thinker's vocabulary. Use big, bright, cheerful words. Use words that promise victory, hope, happiness, pleasure, avoid words that create unpleasant images of failure, defeat, grief." ~ David. J. Schwartz, PhD



How can you help your child delete the self-defeating talk that leads to failure? How can you motivate your child to use positive self-talk? Teaching your child to use bright, cheerful words instead of, "I can't. It's too hard. I don't know how," is simple, fun, and effective when you create stories.

One more thing, the self-talk you want to promote must ring true inside your child's head. He must believe the positive words he tells himself, the words you don't always hear. Below is one way to help your child choose positive self-talk over negative words.

Parenting Skills for Helping Kids with Positive Self-Talk:

Become a storyteller.

Make up a story about a child who limits himself because of his self-talk.

Discuss the story with your child.

Consider Creating a Story Like the One Below:

Jeff begs his dad for a new bike. His dad says, "Jeff, you can have the bike if you bring up your grades from C's to B's." Jeff whines, "That's too hard. I can't." His dad replies, "That's your choice, Jeff." Jeff stomps off to his room thinking, "It's not fair." He pouts, remembering his friend, Brian. Brian's dad bought Brian the same bike last week. Brian didn't have to earn good grades. "Why should I?" thought Jeff. "Dad is so stingy. He makes me earn everything." Jeff never did get the bike.

Parenting Tips - 5 Questions for Increasing Positive Self-Talk in Your Kids:

How did Jeff's self-talk stop him from getting the bike?

Why would earning good grades and earning the bike be good for Jeff?

What specific self-talk could Jeff tell himself to feel good about earning his part?

What good advice would you give Jeff?

If Jeff followed your advice, how would his life improve?

Children learn through stories. Stories help them think. Stories help them build attitudes about life. When your child solves a problem story, he is more likely to follow his own advice.

Create a story time each week. Develop problem stories to teach your family values. These stories will help your child see the limits of negative thinking. They'll motivate him to use the big, bright, cheerful words that accomplish goals and inspire self-confidence. He'll be building character too.