The holidays leading up to Christmas are, for many families, the most wonderful time of the whole year. Besides the colors and the lights, the music and the parties, there's an unmistakable sense of joy in the air, everywhere we go. It's an especially happy time for children, as they plot and plan for Santa Claus's visit, filling out lists, writing him letters, and wishing for a big pile of goodies under the tree on Christmas morning.



Not that adults are immune to the excitement of the holiday season. Even the most jaded mom or dad will smile, at the thought of tearing open a really big Christmas present. That anticipation, which makes everyone breathe a little faster, is universal and unchanging.

But, as most parents learned long ago, the real joy of Christmas isn't totally about receiving something really special from Santa. There can be just as much joy in the giving as the receiving. And the act of choosing a gift for a loved one or a friend is as spiritually uplifting as opening almost any present. This is something that children are especially attuned to, in their natural desire to please those they love.

Thinking about those we're close to at Christmas reminds us, too, of the conflicts we've experienced in the past year, with friends and relatives. It happens every year that harsh words or some kind of insult can lead to the break-up of friendships, or the estrangement of loved ones. Often, later, no matter what happened, we regret the result.

This kind of melancholy is something children can experience, too. Their friendships are as fragile as their parents', but their reactions to the loss of friendship can be even more acutely felt, since these feelings are still fairly new to them. And at Christmas, as children think about giving presents to the friends they have, they may be saddened over the friends they've lost.

For both adults and children, the holiday season can be the perfect time to examine the friendships and relationships that have had struggles, in the past year. It's the perfect time for adults to realize, and for children to learn, that the success or failure of any relationship depends on both parties, and that no relationship can begin or end without the participation of both parties.

No matter what the circumstances, forgiving others and forgiving one's self can be acts of spiritual nourishment. Once kids learn to practice the art of forgiveness, then they'll begin to understand tolerance, and to understand love, more deeply than they ever have before. And that's what Christmas is all about.