This can be a huge benefit when we're persuading.



The following exercise can be used on a new affluent prospect or anyone at all. . .

It's all about understanding and responding to their experiences. You may have heard of another powerful technique like this where you metaphorically 'jump' into them. Here, we are instead going to experience them.

When someone feels that kind of trust - where you are actually experiencing what they are going through - rapport is never far behind.

By employing this technique, you'll be able to naturally understand and gain deep rapport with someone you don't know very well.

You will need a role play partner for this one.

Ask your partner to think of anything. Call it 'A'. Notice how their body is arranged - facial features, breathing, muscle tension, gestures, etc. - and take a mental snapshot. This is how they represent thought 'A'.

Break this state by having them stand up, walk around briefly, and name three things that they can see in the room. . . a coffee cup, photograph, bookshelf. . .etc. This reverts them back to their normal state.

The next step is to have them think of something entirely different--not opposite, just different--and call this thought 'B'.

[NOTE: When you first do this exercise thinking of the opposite may make it easier, but I encourage you to develop your skills and not use something opposite once you've got the hang of it.]

Have them break this state.

Here's where things get interesting. Have them think of either 'A' or 'B'. They're not supposed to tell you which, but you are to figure this out by looking at their expressions, their snapshot.

Give them a turn. Let them try this out on you.

Now you don't practice this with your prospects. You're not going to sit down with them and say, "okay, now let's practice a persuasion technique..." You practice this with the people you know well, so that you can fine-tune your observation skills.

After a while, you will begin to recognize the smallest state changes in others as you converse with them. When they speak about certain topics, give you certain answers, you will actually experience them and they will feel it too.

Although they will not be able to pin point the feeling they get, they will feel connected to you.

Why bother? Well, this is simply another way to gain rapport quickly and powerfully. It also puts your prospect into a state where they are feeling really understood.

Another use for this. . . this can help you determine if you are being lied to.

Say you have a prospective client, you're a financial adviser, and you ask them how their finances are. Well, they may say they're "great" but their body language says differently. These verbal and nonverbal clues give away the prospect's real situation.

You can use other persuasive strategies to get this prospect to open up about their financial situation. And once you do that, you gain even more rapport, you get to the heart of their problem, and you can immediately introduce yourself and your service as the solution to their problem.