After reviewing the highlights of the day -- all the elements that made it a "good day" -- I ask him which was the best part. Often the answer surprises me but after some reflection I decided this fact was due to something pretty wonderful. My child has his priorities in the right order.
Noah's grandparents live in another state so when they visit there tends to be even more spoiling than might be expected from grandparents. One visit from my parents included several small gifts presented at the beginning of the visit, a trip to Wal-Mart with grandparents to purchase a new power ranger, and another trip to Wal-Mart with Grandpa to buy a new Spider Man bike and helmet (Noah's first big bike). They also took him on several outings to the park, children's museum, McDonalds and so on.
However after the grandparents had departed I asked Noah about the best part of the visit. He thought for a moment and said: "Going for a walk with Grandpa and seeing the dead possum."
The dead possum is located on a route we follow pretty regularly for our walks and we have watched the decomposition process with interest. Whenever we see the possum Noah always mentions his grandfather and whenever they speak on the phone he updates his grandfather on the status of the corpse.
Just think about these stories. Noah was showered with gifts and lavish outings but his favorite memory is a simple walk to the local airport and checking out the sites along the way.
Why do we spend so much money during the holidays on expensive gifts that will most likely be forgotten or tossed aside or outgrown -- sometimes before the tinsel is taken down. In the end it is lavishing our time and attention on our loved ones that is the greatest gift of all.
Not only is it a wonderful gift for our loved ones (who likely won't require a dead possum for bonding) but it is also a wonderful gift for ourselves. The holiday season can be frantic and filled with crazy shopping malls and unjolly traffic jams. Taking time out to spend quality time with our loved ones is really what we should give ourselves this holiday season.
Sitting around the kitchen table making homemade Christmas cards with Noah means our holiday message will stand out from the pile of glitzy prepackaged cards and we will have spent hours together giggling over our work with glue, construction paper, and scissors. I don't know about you but I'd much rather bond over glitter glue than a decomposing possum.
We are also working on his holiday gifts for various family members which I know will be lovingly appreciated by grandparents and cousins alike. More than crafting picture frames and holiday scarves we are crafting memories that I hope he will cherish his whole life. And I hope that I am teaching him that gifts from the heart mean much more than gifts from the wallet.
But then he may already know that as he snuggles down beneath his pillow and quilt -- both lovingly quilted by his grandmother -- for his afternoon nap.
The Best Part Of The Day
This can happen in one of two ways:
1. You ask some great open-ended questions (via what we call ?inquiry?) so that the client has an insight on their own.
2. You make an observation and the client sees new possibilities.
When this happens, the entire premise of executive coaching is realized. That is, you can have short, high-impact meetings with executives ? without intrusive consulting projects ? and generate incredible value.
For instance, the other day I was working with a long-time client of mine to help him improve the performance of a new business unit. As I asked him questions, he realized that he was not holding his team accountable for the performance he wanted them to achieve. He immediately saw opportunities to engage his team more effectively and focus them on the activities that would generate the best results.
Once he had this insight, I could see his entire demeanor change. He was more relaxed and confident. To borrow the old cliche, he seemed like a weight had been lifted.
Similarly, I was coaching the owner of a million-dollar consulting firm about how to grow his firm and use his time more effectively. He shared his reluctance to pay any kind of commission to his contractor/consultants for bringing in additional clients.
"This is my business, and frankly I don't need more work. I just don't see why my contractors should get anything when they are piggy backing off my intellectual property."
I suggested that perhaps he should think about his business 180 degrees differently. Rather than being stingy, what if he could generate lots of referrals through his own contractor/ consultants, and pay them handsomely for their contribution? That way he could grow his firm while his own people did more of the marketing work, and receive large additional revenues through leverage.
To the reader, this observation may seem obvious, but for my client, his entire view of his company shifted. (Note that the person being coached is always the last to "get it" and that it is easy to be a Monday morning quarterback).
"Wow," he said. "I've been thinking about things backwards!"
There's no better feeling ? for the client or for the executive coach.
Both Deanna Mascle & Andrew Neitlich are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Andrew Neitlich has sinced written about articles on various topics from Family Concerns, Power of Coaching. Andrew Neitlich is the founder of , a leading training center for Executive Coaches.. Andrew Neitlich's top article generates over 1000 views. to your Favourites.
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