Negative coping mechanisms:



There are some people who resort to negative ways to solve their shyness. They may opt to take drugs which allegedly can relieve feelings of shyness (even though no such drug exists.) Because shy people may get depressed by their inability to have normal relationships with other people, they may opt to take anti-depressants - that is a very bad idea because anti-depressants are meant to help people whose depression has deeper causes then simple shyness.

Others abuse alcohol because they think they can drown their sorrows in liquor and the shyness will go away. Or they drink because someone may have told them that drinking makes one bolder because you lose your inhibitions. Some may foolishly take drugs and alcohol together - a combination which has fatal results.

Taking illegal drugs such as marijuana and cocaine is another step some shy people resort to but which only leaves them addicted. That is why drug abuse is so common in Hollywood - many well-known personalities think that their shyness will become less obvious or disappear onstage if they take illegal drugs. You may be surprised how many popular celebrities are actually painfully shy off-camera.

Coping properly with shyness:

Shyness can be dealt with if you use the right methods. Try to meet new people aside from the same old faces you see everyday. This may necessitate taking new routes going home - use a different bus and strike up a conversation with the bus driver. Try cycling or walking through other neighborhoods and compliment homeowners who are tending their gardens about how beautiful their roses seem to be growing.

If a new family moves in the neighborhood, ring their doorbell and present them with a cake or a pie to welcome them (even store-bought sweets will do if you do not bake.) Go to church - people who worship God are usually approachable people who will not make fun of you, even if you have another problem such as stuttering that may compound your shyness.

Go to public events, like parades and concerts. You will be surprised how easy it is to converse with strangers if you share the same interests. Compare notes on how well this band seems to be developing, and how many of their CDs you each have in your personal collections.

Even relatives may be complete strangers to you if your shyness has kept you from interacting with them. Hunt down the phone number of a cousin you find nice enough and call her up, ask her how her children are, if her husband still works at that job he hates. Try to stay in touch with family because they will usually be the first to rush to your aid when you get in trouble - and not just because you want to practice conversing with someone.

You may be surprised how many of your friends are still your friends after you have neglected them if you did not solve shyness. Do take the time to keep in touch or renew ties with them so that you do not get rejected in the future.