Most people, unless they are unusually lucky, went though a painful break-up at least once in their life. However, once it happens to you, you tend to believe that your case is exceptional and unique and for this matter, unbearable. Nobody in the whole world can understand how much you are hurt and how you feel at the moment. Does it sound familiar? Now try to put your situation in a theoretical perspective.



According to Steven Fink, every single crisis (and your break-up is definitely a crisis, isn't it?) always goes through four stages. Now try to arrange all the fights, arguments, and other unpleasant moments with your significant other into these four stages. You will realize that your relationship and a break-up simply go through a cycle. Once the cycle is over, you will be whole again.

Stage 1: Prodromal (Trying to Solve Problems Before They Appear).

You two have a nice lovely life, you see each other every single day, and call each other every hour. All of your friends are envious of your perfect relationship, while in most cases you don't even notice these friends simply because you two have each other and you don't need anybody else.

However, there are always some little problems that, while you are happy, tolerable. In the long run, however, these small difficulties are exactly what can destroy your perfect relationship if you don't nip them in the bud. Yes, at first it is maybe not important that after dating your boyfriend for two years you still haven't met his parents. Of course, you understand that his parents live far away and you two simply don't have time to go to visit them. Or maybe your girlfriend constantly flirts with your friends, though she says that this is just the way she communicates. Of course she loves you and never will cheat on you. But what if your best friend misinterprets her behavior and fall in love with her? What if she falls in love with him?

Of course everybody has his or her own character and there is no need to point out every single mistake. However, you also should not let bigger things slide, or eventually you will have to deal with a snowball effect.

Stage 2: Acute (It's Time to Dump!)

Well, no matter how much you tried to fix it, your soon-to-be ex-love missed all the crisis signs and continued to act as if nothing was going on. At the moment you make a fatal decision for your relationship, you enter the acute stage of your break-up. Usually it's the shortest phase, but seems like the longest. This is when you have the most frustrating misunderstandings and fights. Eventually you hear yourself saying, It's over, and your (already) ex slamming the door while leaving the room.

The next few weeks you are sitting at home debating if it was a good decision to break up or you simply made a mistake in the heat of the moment. You have the urge of dialing the so familiar number and fixing everything. Mostly likely your ex calls you every day begging to come back, and this is exactly what you want to do. But then that mean inner voice asks you, ?And what is next??

Stage 3: Chronic (It's Hard? But It Was the Right Decision)

The chronic stage is the longest out of all four stages. You have all these memories of good times you two had together. Every single place you go reminds you of your ex. You don't want to wake up in the mornings, don't want to go anywhere, and don't want to do anything. Your best friend informs you about a recent encounter with your ex and his/her new date. Right! This. (at this point you can't even find an insulting enough name for your ex) already found a replacement for you! After everything you had together!

Your work or study usually suffers the most. Your old friends, unaware of the break-up, keep calling you inviting two of you to events. And worst of all, you're invited to a wedding of you best friends. As always, you have no excuse to skip it, so you're forced to stand there witnessing somebody else's happiness, faking the smile, and feeling so lonely deep inside.

However, one day your best friends suddenly show up at your place and drag you outside, either for a barbeque, a party, or just a small family dinner. You realize that the life is not over: the sun is still shining, the grass is still green, and your friends still appreciate you. You start going out more and make new friends. You even try something new, such as skydiving to get new experience. And finally you open your eyes and notice all the attention you're getting from the opposite sex. You're definitely ready to enter a dating game again!

Stage 4: Recovery (I'm in Love Again!)

This is the time when you are completely over your previous relationship. You saw your ex last week, and instead of trying to hide, you came over and had a nice little talk. Of course you noticed that amazed look your ex gave you. Finally he/she realized the loss! Oh yes, he/she actually called you yesterday asking to get a dinner together tonight. Unfortunately you had to decline an invitation promising to do it some other time because you have a planned romantic night out with your new love.

Now you just need to remember one thing: while enjoying your new happy life now, you need to remember about the past mistakes and look out for possible problems in the future, so that you new relationship doesn't enter an acute stage of crisis.

And no matter what happens, just believe that everything will turn out right, because the world is built on that!