If we're a bit low in the confidence area or suffer from some low self esteem, or simply get a bit flustered when browsing all the fabulous profiles out there - we may end up selling ourselves short. We may not be able to see our own gifts and skills. On the other hand we may try a bit too hard to impress, and end up creating false and fantasy versions of ourselves.



Unfortunately we all lead busy lives and we often get just a precious few minutes to catch our beloved's attention.

Now is the time that preparation is essential.

Note the points below - where you do a great job, but also where you don't do so great. And put pen to paper to create a fitting description to yourself and audience.

1. Get Your Best Mug Shot - And Say Cheese

It makes you wonder what folks were thinking when they put their photos up on the dating sites.

Do not - and I repeat do not - take your picture on waking up first thing in the morning, when you're in a bad mood, having a horrifically bad hair day, or after a late night boozer.

I recommend a bright and colorful photograph - ideally focusing on the head and shoulders, with natural lighting or at least a well lit shot. Make yourself stand out with a fabulous smile and some colorful clothes or background.

2. Stay Clear of 'Personal Ad' Lingo

Do these phrases sound familiar : "great personality" "likes movies" "enjoys eating out" "caring"

Are you asleep yet?

Details and interesting details, are the life blood of your profile.

By giving your reader details about yourself, you allow them to create an image of you in their minds and emotions - therefore making you more memorable and interesting.

3. Tell Me What You Want

Don't assume that people will work out your ideal person from your profile details. It is far better to state what you are looking for a person, and if you have some 'do not wants' state them too. You will receive far more suitable replies.

If your imaging a mate like yourself - one in which you're both singing from the same hymm sheet - have the same desires, well mention that in your profile.

Don't risk being too general and grey or you will get far too many unsuitable responses.

4. Be True to Form

As tempting as it sounds, do not exaggerate yourself to epic proportions. You are not a movie script.

Physical appearance is an aspect where you can not get away with 'hype'. Describing your self as "hot", "stunning" may not endear you too your audiance as physical attraction is always a personal and subjective thing. It's far more cool to put your photo up and draw your admirers to you.

You and your mum may think you're the 'best thing since sliced bread' - but a reality check may be just what the doctor ordered.

Reality check required.

5. Don't Forget the Foundations

The foundations of a new friendship or relationship start with the basics. Be honest and mention your situation - i.e. single, divorced, widowed, kids, pets, age, education, job and general location. These are the main building blocks to creating your bridge to the other party.

I don't really have to say it - but I will anyway. For your safety, do not reveal anything specifc about yourself.

6. Adding the Color to Your Life

Inspired persons, with conviction and purpose are always interesting to us.

We sense a comman bond with them. We can relate to some or all their interests and ideals. They motivate us to think and grow.

Now it's your turn to look at your own life - and find the theme or flavour that's flowing through your stream.

Have a great big brain dump. Note all the weird and wonderful things that make You - You. Note your interests, talents, great smile, kindness, your passions and inspiration.

E.G. Soulful and Sensitive Writer in Seattle, Traveller and 'Mean Piano Player'

7. Knock Yourself Out

Return to simplicy. Sometimes it's just the best way.

So keep your smarts about you, but don't forget - life was never meant to be hard. Keep it fun and light, and make it an opportunity to also learn and grow.