Apart from all the emotional turmoil, there are so many practical



matters that must be sorted out when a married relationship comes to an

end. If you and your partner find yourselves in the unfortunate

situation where you have decided to separate, you will both need to

consider what will happen to your money, investments,

possessions, property and children.

There are lots of different ways in which you can make arrangements to

part ways. For a start, you don't need to get a divorce. If you and

your partner can agree amicably on how to settle the things that you

shared during your marriage, you may just opt for an informal

separation. It's much cheaper and much less stressful than going

through the divorce courts. However, bear in mind that any informal

arrangements may affect any decisions made by the courts if you decide

to take your case down this route in the future. Also, a court may

reverse or alter any arrangement you have made with your partner if it

is considered unreasonable to either party or unfair on any children.

An alternative way to split without going through the divorce courts is

formal separation, in which a written mutual agreement is drawn up,

preferably by a solicitor. The agreement sets out the terms for

settling financial and material matters and arranging the care of any

children. It can cover financial maintenance either for the other

partner or for the children. Any agreement not to take a case to court

in the future will not be legally binding and both of you still have

recourse to the courts should amicable communication break down.

There are various other factors to weigh up when considering whether

divorce is the right option. Remaining married will have various legal

implications, and of course you won't be able to remarry. Divorce is

therefore often the safest, fairest and most practical option.

Let's straighten out a few facts about divorce, as it can cause

confusion to many people:

To apply for a divorce, you must have been married for at least

one year.

Your marriage must be legally recognised in the UK and you must

have been resident here for a certain length of time.

One partner must file a petition at court setting out the reasons

for the divorce and providing background information. They are known as

the petitioner and the other partner is known as the respondent.

The petitioner must provide grounds to show that the marriage has

broken down irretrievably. To demonstrate an irretrievable breakdown of

the marriage, at least one of the following factors must be proven:

adultery

unreasonable behaviour (such as physical, mental or emotional

abuse, or controlling behaviour)

one partner deserted the marriage at least two years ago (left

the marital home without the consent of the other partner or reasonable

justification for doing so)

where both parties consent to the divorce, at least two years

of living apart

where one party does not consent to the divorce, at least five

years of living apart

Where both parties consent to the divorce, it's known as an

undefended divorce. Where one party doesn't consent, it's referred to

as a defended divorce.

If you file for divorce on grounds of adultery, the court will

need to know the details of the extramarital relationship, including dates ?

you must file for divorce within six months of it taking place.

However, if one party doesn't agree to the divorce, proof of the

adultery must be obtained, which isn't always easy.

If you both consent to the divorce, the court will review the

application and issue a decree nisi. This can take up to six months, or

longer if there are children as the court will want to ensure that the

care arrangements made for them are adequate. A court hearing won't be

required, but the court may want to speak to the children if they are

old enough.

Six weeks after obtaining the decree nisi, the petitioner can

apply for a decree absolute to finalise the divorce. Once the decree absolute

has been granted, the divorce is complete and the marriage is over.

If one partner does not agree to the divorce, attendance at court

will be required. The partner who disagrees must provide reasons to

demonstrate why they believe the marriage has not broken down

irretrievably. The judge will decide whether the marriage has broken

down irretrievably and will grant a decree nisi if they deem this to be

the case. Then the petitioner can apply for a decree absolute in the

same way as they would had the other partner consented to the divorce.

If there are any children in the marriage, the court will always

review the arrangements for their care. This includes where they will

live, who will look after them, what access both parents will have and

what financial support will be given. The court will always make its

decision based on what is deemed to be in the best interests of the

children. If both partners agree with the arrangements they have made,

the court will not intervene to change them. However, if one partner

finds the arrangements unacceptable, the court will review the case and

make a decision, known as a court order.

Financial arrangements ? children

Both partners are financially responsible for their children, no matter

who the children live with. (Children under the age of 16 or under the

age of 19 and in full-time education are considered to be your

dependants.)

The most amicable way to arrange support is through a voluntary

agreement, where you and your partner come to a mutually acceptable

arrangement for looking after the children. This may be an informal

verbal arrangement or you could have a written agreement drawn up by a

solicitor (which is the safest option as it can help to resolve any

disputes further down the line). There are various ways in which one

partner can provide financial support to the other. They may agree to

pay all the household bills and perhaps the mortgage or rent, they may

buy the childrens? clothes or pay for their holidays, or they may

prefer to give the other partner a regular maintenance payment for

their partner to spend appropriately on the children.

If you're unable to come to an informal arrangement with your partner,

you'll need to apply for financial support through either the Child

Support Agency or the court.

Financial arrangements ? settlements for the other partner

Even if there are no children in the marriage, making a financial

settlement can be tricky business. If you are able to come to an

informal agreement together on how you will split your wealth, it can

save a lot of time, stress and money. However as with everything in

life, when there's money involved, disputes inevitably arise. Many

divorcing couples therefore end up turning to the court to obtain a

financial settlement. In England and Wales, the general principle

concerning disputed settlements is that both partners should receive

50% of their combined wealth. There are sometimes extenuating

circumstances though, particularly in cases where a large amount of

wealth was accumulated by one partner before the marriage, or where one

partner has, for example, given up a career as a result of the marriage

or of having children. In such cases the split may not be completely

equal.

Financial arrangements ? property

Again, you may come to an informal agreement as to what to do about the

marital home, or, if you can't agree, the courts will decide. One

partner may still be living in the property, but this does not give

them any more rights than the other partner. The partner who is no

longer living in the home still has the right to come back to collect

items belonging to them (although in cases of domestic violence this

may be restricted by a court order), and still has a say in what

happens to the home ? their consent will be required to put it up for

sale, for example. Even if one partner isn't listed on the deeds as an

owner of the marital home, they nevertheless have equal rights to the

property ? either to live in it or to have a say in whether it is sold.

However, to protect their rights, this partner must complete a form and

send it to the District Land Registry.

A final word of advice

In an ideal world, it's always best to be able to agree things amicably

without the indignity of involving solicitors or going to court. In

reality, however, it's not always easy to reach a fair and reasonable

agreement ? and even if you do, things might turn sour at some point in

the future and either one of you could be left in the lurch. It's

therefore best to consult a solicitor to ensure you understand your

rights and what you're entitled to, and to help you reach an

arrangement with your partner that will allow you both to live

reasonably and comfortably when you separate.