"War of the sexes." "He says, she says." "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Nowadays, everything seems to be about the difference between the sexes. What about differences in how we get angry and how those differences translate into angry and sometimes inappropriate outbursts? Do men handle anger differently then women do?

Men typically lose control faster than women do. Women tend to stay in control even when their feelings intensify.

Men tend to have an easy time of learning to control their anger once they understand how hurtful their actions have become. Once women give in to their anger, they have a more difficult time ignoring it.

The differences can be traced to biology. Men tend to bottle things up and not want to talk about their feelings. Women need to be able to let go of their emotions. Given these differences; the first step in anger management is different for men than for women. Men need to identify the emotions associated with their anger episodes and women need to understand how to control the negative aspects of the emotions associated with their anger.

After the first step, anger management is pretty much the same for both men and women. Both sexes can benefit from using an anger management journal to record what happens when they lose their battle to control their anger. Men and women both are capable of identifying triggers (things that set off anger). Problem solving can lead to alternative ways of handling anger-causing situations. Both men and women can accomplish this task.

Anger management also involves being able to understand weakness in others and what motivates actions taken by those involved in episodes of anger. Both men and women learn to forgive themselves and others. Perhaps one of the most important aspects of anger management is learning that controlling anger can be a freeing experience.

One common factor or trigger of anger for both men and women is the issue of forgiveness and its associated problem, the presence of guilt. The inability to forgive can lead to being angry. Guilt is a big predecessor to anger, because when we feel guilty we tend to feel bad about ourselves. This guilt can lead to feeling ashamed or depressed Often times when we feel this way we take it out on others in the form of anger. Understanding the role of guilt and learning how to forgive can help men and women to better manage their anger.

Part of learning how to manage anger is networking with others dealing with the same issues. Men have a more difficult time joining anger management groups and classes. It usually is more difficult for men to open up and talk about their feelings. Women on the other hand are more comfortable in social situations usually and are more comfortable talking about their feelings.

Anger management issues are equally important for men and women when it comes to their relationships. Not being able to control anger can damage relationships, so it is equally important for both men and women to be honest with those they have relationships with in regards to their achievements towards anger management.