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The Effects Of Divorce On Children

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Should you stay together for the children when things go wrong in a marriage? Actually, divorce may be the better option for them in the long run. Living with a tense atmosphere and maybe even the odd slamming door and shouting match can do more harm than the parents' separation. Even without these signs children can sense when things aren't quite right.



During divorce proceedings try to make sure the children know what is going on. Explain it in terms they can understand. They need to know how they will be affected and reassured that you will do your best to keep their lives as unchanged as possible. Try to avoid a situation where they will have to leave their school and friends at the same time as seeing their parents separate.

Many children will wonder if they are to blame somehow. It must be affirmed over and again that this is not their fault by both parents before it will sink in. In fact apportioning blame to anyone in front of the children is not a good idea even if it's quite obvious what lead to the troubles.

Then they have the agony of wondering if they should be taking one parent's side over the other. It's best not to use your children as a confidant during this emotional time regardless of how mature they may seem. They should be allowed to carry on loving each parent as they did before without the knowledge of what one did or said to the other. You can do your crying on the shoulder of an understanding adult friend.

Schools and other organisations that the children attend can help keep you informed about any changes in their behaviour and can be a great source of information on how the children are coping with the changes. They may feel the need to hide their emotions at home as you seem to have enough on your plate. Keep the teachers up to date with what is going on in their family lives. There is no shame in divorce these days - around 1 in 3 children will go through their parents' separation.

There will always be the situation where one parent is not prepared to play along with the best practices. The one that does put down the other parent in front of the children, doesn't turn up when they're expected or won't let the children visit with the other parent. It's best not to 'play them at their own game'. An announcement of 'See I told you daddy's a bastard/mummy's a bitch!' is perhaps not the best way to go.

Rarely is shared custody awarded to parents these days so there will be just the one principle carer. Children need to know, however, that both parents still want to be a part of their lives. For the person who does not have principle care it is important that your children know your home is theirs too. Make a space fro their belongings to stay for when they visit.

Eventually one or both parents will enter a new relationship. This, too, can be an unsettling experience for the children, especially if the introduction is handled in the wrong way. It is often less stressful to introduce a new partner as a friend at first and to make sure that any intimate moments take place away from their eyes and ears. This way the children can form a good relationship with this person and be happy when they find out that the association is rather more than 'just friends'.

As far ash the children are concerned, even once divorce has taken place, mum, dad and kids are still family. This means they will want both parents involved in the important events in their lives. Try to help each other and work together in getting both of you to the school play or graduation day. You may have ended your marriage but your partnership in bringing up your children in the best way possible must continue.
The Effects Of Divorce On Children
High alimonies were not restricted just to the celebrities. When women in Europe learnt about the divorce laws in the UK that favoured them, they tried to shift their divorces cases here. Hence, the high alimonies started to shift the wealth distribution in the country and some even consider the country as a divorce hub of Europe.

Statistical Findings

A number of surveys are conducted to study the influence of divorce on the wealth distribution in the country. The survey conducted by Datamonitor has revealed a lot of interesting information. According to the survey, the women's wealth increases five times greater than the rate of increase of a man's wealth. That is, in the past eight years, women's wealth has increased by about 53.9% while men's wealth has gone up just by 9.2%.

Also, nearly 50% of millionaires in the UK are now women. The major reasons that contributed to the increase in women's wealth are the increasing divorce rates apart from other factors such as inheritance and the wealth earned through business.

Reasons behind Huge Settlements

Survey conducted by Grant Thornton reveals that in 2005 around ?1 million was paid to women towards settlement out of which 53% of the settlement amount went to non-working wives.

In these days where people talk about equality, why do most of the judgements regarding divorce and settlements favour women? It could be due to one of the following reasons:

1.In the best interest of a child, the custodial parent is most of the times a woman. Although, the father pays for child support, it can cover only the basic expenses for the child. Hence, in order to compensate for her huge responsibility and provide sufficient money so that she could afford a comfortable life to the children to meet all their wants, judge agrees for huge settlements demanded by a woman.

2. A woman has difficulties in continuing with her professional life when she has a child. A lot of companies might not even sanction sufficient period of absence to a woman during this period. Hence a lot of women forfeit their jobs to take care of the children. Since the marriage has subsequently led to the ruining of a woman's career, a lot of judges feel it is fair that a man needs to provide sufficient settlement so that she can take care of herself after the divorce even without a job.

3.Infidelity by men is one of the main reasons for breakup of marriages in the UK. Hence huge settlements are considered as a compensation for breaking a woman's trust and happiness.

4.The judge presiding over the case might be a man from a traditional background who believes that it is a man's responsibility to a woman and makes him pay huge alimony for the same.

Divorce Rate Vs Wealth Distribution

With divorce rates going high, the gap between the male and female millionaires is narrowing. In 1998, men had ?2.71 million, while the wealth among women amounted to ?1.28 million. However, in 2006, total assets owned by men amounted to ?2.96 million while women's assets totalled to ?1.97 million. Also, number of women with high net worth outnumbered men in 2005.

With over 50% of marriages in the UK ending in a divorce, the women are expected to grow richer than the men within a few years of time.

Is this Fair?

In the UK, a man is expected to support a woman even after the divorce. She can even claim a share of his past or future earnings. Although women and lawyers are happy with these deals, most of the men are naturally unhappy. They feel it is unfair for a woman to claim a share of his hard-earned money, when she does not have any contribution towards it.

Men also question, how women can talk about feminism and equality yet, when the subject of settlement crops up, and try to convince that they require assistance to take care of their needs and hence expect to be treated differently.

When men want these divorce laws to be revised, women feel that current laws can help to uplift their condition. So, even as this argument continues, there are more women who are getting richer in this country through their divorce settlements.
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About Author
Both Katie George & James Walsh are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Katie George has sinced written about articles on various topics from Credit Cards, Loans for Home Improvement and Banking. . Katie George's top article generates over 110000 views. to your Favourites.

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