But yesterday Sam decided to put me to the test by telling a lie. Now I'm sure it wasn't a lie in his mind. Nevertheless he told me an untruth. He said that he had missed the bus to school sports because his teacher had kept him in at lunch time.
On phoning his teacher I found out the whole story. Yes, he had been kept in at lunch time for a few minutes but he still had plenty of time to catch his bus. He had walked up to the bus stop with a friend and then decided that he would rather go to Basketball than Soccer. So he had taken off without even telling a teacher where he was going.
I felt disappointed that Sam had told me a lie. He had actually come home from school grumping about this poor teacher when in reality it was nothing to do with her. Sam had made bad choices that day and thought it would be easier to blame someone else for his choices rather than accept responsibility for his own actions.
Now, here's the thing: we cannot control what our kids say or do. But And this is where the kids learn to do things differently next time.
When Sam gets home from school today I am going to tell him a story about a child who tried to blame everyone else for his own actions. I want Sam to think about what he would do if he was the parent. Sam is thinking right now that he has done nothing wrong because he is tyring to justify his actions. So I want him to think about how he can change things.
It is often a good idea to create a story out of it and bring the child in as a third party. This way the child doesn't feel like you are attacking them personally. I hope I am explaining this properly for you. When a child doesn't feel threatened they are more likely to hear what you are saying and take notice.
Anyhow, we will talk this afternoon. My objective is to help Sam realise that he must take responsibility for his own actions without trying to blame anyone else for his poor choices and if I can get him to see that, then I have done my job in this matter.
The end result is that Sam will get a consequence this afternoon. I want to show him that he made a bad choice by telling me a lie. I might ban him from the computer for a day or two, just long enough for him to feel annoyed and perhaps think about why he lost a privilege. I want him to feel motivated to change his actions the next time and learn from this incident.
Parents, you have a chance to choose what your family's core values will be. You should talk to your kids about them, encourage them and uphold them at all times. Your kids will thank you later on in life, you can be sure of that. So take time out today to think about your core family values.
The Family Values Tour
With all the media available today, raising children with strong values is certainly a challenge. Young people are receiving a wider diversity of information and images much faster than ever. Still, it is possible to raise children with the strong values and morals that you want them to have and that will stay with them throughout their lives.
It's possible that you may be a bit confused about just what family values are and how you instill them in your children. That's okay because it's likely you just haven't given any deep thought to them.
Why? Because you have them! They're usually what your parents and educators taught you when you were a child. This means that you are living your family values, even as we speak.
To help get to the heart of the essentials regarding family values, here are 5 tips to help.
1. Know Thyself. Before you can teach someone else what you believe, you need to know yourself. Asking yourself questions such as ?Which is more important to me, money or job satisfaction?? and ?How important is education to me?? will start you down the road to discovering what you value most?and what you don't.
2. Be Aware of What You Say. Once you have a firmer understanding of what you truly value, remember that you the way you speak has tremendous power over your children, especially when they're young. If they hear you demean something or praise, say, top brands all the time, you can expect them to do the same. It will just come naturally.
3. Watch Not Just Your Words, But Your Actions. One of the most overwhelming aspects of being a parent is to know that you are setting an example for your children. It's a full-time job and one you need to be vigilant about. If you often, for example, decide to give yourself a day off in the middle of the week, don't be surprised to when the principal calls to tell you that your son or daughter isn't in school?they're skipping. Consistency in your own behavior is the best?and worst?way you instill family values in your children. It's a little scary, isn't it? It doesn't have to be, just be mindful that your children learn by watching you. A fall or slip once in awhile won't hurt, I promise.
4. Discipline. Effective discipline isn't about whether to spank or not spank, it's about setting limits and meaning it. When children cross your family value line, it will do them good to spend time correcting the problem or reflecting on what they did wrong. Remember that most of us learn best not by doing something right, but by doing it wrong. 5. Set Your Priorities and Reinforce Them As Often As Possible. Just don't do this so often that your children start saying ?No, not the lecture! Not the lecture, Mom!? as a friend of mine's kids do practically every time she says something. Over-doing may actually be worse than under-doing in this case, so reinforce your family values often enough that your kids get the message, but not to the point that they don't even listen.
Just one more thought, when it comes to defining your family values. Teach your children the basic Golden Rule of treating people as they would want to be treated, and you will give them a firm moral foundation that will last a lifetime.
Both Kim Patrick & Pat Brill are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Kim Patrick has sinced written about articles on various topics from Children, Family and Children. Kim Patrick is a single mum with four children who lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is author of the book, "Get Your Child To Behave In 30 Days Or Less". For more information on how to. Kim Patrick's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.
Pat Brill has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation, Recreation and Sports and Family. Pat Brill is co-founder of http://www.SilkBow.com which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood. SilkBow is the perfect place for the perfect gift. Pat can be reached directly at: pat@SilkBow.com. Pat Brill's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
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