Pick-up- as it really is, rather than as it's taught in the popular magazine- is a 3-phase sequence which must be followed in order for reliable results. The first phase is attraction, where the man gains attraction from the woman; the second phase is comfort, where the man gets the woman to feel comfortable with him; the third phase is seduction, where the man, having gained attraction and comfort proceeds to convert these vital two ingredients into a sexual relationship. Nearly all the mistakes of pick-up- that is any male-female interaction which does not result in a sexual relationship- can be attributed to an error in following the sequence described here.



Mistake 1: starting at the end

A man who starts at the last phase- seduction- disregards the need for a woman to first feel attracted and also the need for her to feel comfort and initiates the interaction directly in the seduction mode. He touches the woman improperly, conveys too much sexual intent too soon, and will come across as sleazy or worse.

Mistake 2: starting at the middle

Men who have observed mistake number 1 often try to rectify this by implementing a comfort phase before seduction. Almost always they never reach the seduction phase, because having ignored the need for a woman to be attracted, they get stuck in the 'friend zone', where a woman becomes too comfortable with them as a friend to ever feel comfortable proceeding into a sexual relation. Men who start in the middle are commonly referred to as 'nice guys'.

Mistake 3: skipping the middle

Men who are proficient at building attraction (phase one), but then proceed directly to seduction- without comfort- are commonly referred to as "players". A woman may feel attraction to this man, but she is unlikely to believe or understand that he is attracted to her in any way which is unique or relevant to her- a vital and necessary ingredient for the smooth implementation of the seduction phase.

Mistake 4: getting stuck in the middle

Similar to mistake number 2, these men lay down the necessary foundations for seduction, but lack the confidence or the knowhow to advance smoothly into this phase, so forever circle between attraction and comfort. The woman soon becomes confused as to the man's intention and places him, like the nice guy, in the friend zone.

Often, just being aware of the correct sequence of a pick-up can act as a vital checklist during an interaction with a woman. The man should be aware of what phase he is in at any one moment, and never go backwards in the pick-up, nor go forwards too quickly (and skip one of the phases).