You may think it's more important to tend constantly to the needs of other people rather than yourself. This appears at first glance to be the selfless, even saintly, way to behave. Aren't mothers supposed to put the needs of their family first?



You may hold up in your short-term and even medium range duties if you are continually tending to other people's needs at the expense of your own. But nobody can keep that up forever, not even you. Providing a tiny bit of regular space to allow yourself to recharge will help maintain your ability to respond, to be "response-able" to the needs of your loved ones.

One thing you may not have considered is that you are a role model for your children from the day they are born. As such, you have a responsibility to show them how to care for themselves by taking care of yourself. Mothers have wept over the realization that they had modeled a lack of self-care for their daughters until it was nearly too late. Our children learn far more from our actions than from our words. If you want your children to take healthy time and space for themselves as adults, you need to show them how.

Yes, meditation is proven to be a highly effective tool for reducing stress and increasing health, but there are thousands of other ways to take ten minutes for you. The important thing is to make a commitment to yourself and follow through with it daily. You could go for a walk, listen to some favorite music, take a bath, sit in the car (as long as you're not driving!), look at a beautiful painting or view, or savor a cup of coffee or tea all by yourself.

If you are with your children 24/7, please consider creative ways to take an hour or so each week away from your family. The "Mommy Brain" is constantly on duty, even when we're not next to our children, but a little distance can open up space in our minds and decompress our bodies in a very healing way. Oddly, having time away can open up our hearts to our loved ones and help us appreciate the most important people in our lives even more.

When your inner self begins to realize that you are consistently taking a little bit of time and space for yourself, you are likely to find your overall mood and body image improving. There is something extraordinarily healing about saying that it is O.K. to take up some room in the world, that it is O.K. to be. This simple act can create a positive upward spiral into a healthier sense of well-being. Therefore, taking time for yourself is a proactive way to become a healthier, better adjusted, more response-able human being, mother and partner.