As far as I'm concerned, there is one hard rule when it comes to online dating, and I'll let you in on it shortly.



Let me tell you first, about a friend of mine.

I have one friend who was so jaded with regard to relationships and dating, that she had been single for about 3 years. Her past experiences with men were so negative, that she'd rather not risk getting into another relationship with anyone. Her last boyfriend would go to the bar, and once he was good and liquored up, he would call her from there to let her know that she should move out of their apartment, because he had found someone else. Every other time that he went to the bar, he would do this. And yet, she stayed with him. This was not someone that she found online. This was someone that she knew from work, and had begun dating.

After finally breaking up with him (she stayed with him for 3 years), she decided that she would rather be single than be involved with men again, who, in her opinion, were all basically dishonest cheats.

After 3 years of literal celibacy, she decided that maybe she should get over her general distrust of men, and I convinced her to try online dating, because I had done it for awhile, and hadn't yet found "the one", but I had met some really nice people in the process, so I thought it would be good for her.

On my friend's first date, she thought that she might be a tad late, so she called this dude to let him know that. As it turned out, she was right on time, but as she got to the restaurant, she received a text message from him saying that he was in the parking lot, and that she should call him when she entered the store (coffee shop). Red flag #1. In our conversation about this, she distinctly asked me, “Do you think that's weird?” To which I replied, “Don't YOU think it's weird? You should.”

This guy also said in his profile that he was 6'0” tall. When he came into the coffee shop, it turned out that he was much closer to 5'8” than six feet. Red flag #2. She ignored it because she thought they got along so well. That should have been the only time that she met him. Remember this about online dating; someone who lies about something as obvious as his/her height or weight, will lie about anything.

On their second date, she went to his house to watch a movie. At which time, he told her that he had guns at his place (that she never saw), because he used to be a security guard. Then, he told her that he's also in the British Army, and that's also why he has guns. Okay people, we don't live anywhere near Britain. Red flags #3 and #4!! Then she asked me if I thought he was being truthful. I was astounded. I wanted to reach out and shake her! Do you want to know why she actually decided to stop seeing this dude? Because he doesn't like Oprah! All of that other nonsense was acceptable to her, but dude doesn't like Oprah, and she dumps him!

So, the one hard, no exceptions rule with regard to online dating would be this; Follow your gut. Obviously, my friend was skeptical about whether or not this dude was telling the truth. She had that feeling in her gut, but chose not to follow it. Thank God he told her that he doesn't like Oprah, or who knows how much she would have put up with.

Follow your gut. If something doesn't seem right, run. Run far, and run fast. Don't look back. If a woman tells you on your first date that she's on medication for depression, run. Not to sound unsympathetic, but if she's giving you that information on the first date, she most likely has problems that are much bigger than that.

If after your first date, the other party calls you on your way home, to ask, “Well, what did you think? Do you think we're a match?” Run. And keep running.

Follow your gut. I can't say it enough. If it just doesn't feel right, run.

Here's to great dating!

Chris A. Cameron

Copyright 2006 Chris A. Cameron All Rights Reserved.