That sounded encouraging. Not to mention that it just about sums up everything I've been doing when it comes to my physical fitness plan. Yes, indeed, I have taken that all important first step. Hundreds of times in fact. Top Ten Best Foods for a Flatter Belly, Seven Steps to Flab-Free Arms, 30 Days of Walking Tips, these and every other top ten list I have perused. I have also scoured countless columns of so-called fitness experts, from celebrity trainers to Phys Ed professors with Ph.Ds. I can then confidently say that I am a fitness information addict.



As for the second step, the one about making a decision to be physically fit, that deserves a check mark on my to-do list as well. I've made lots of decisions. I've decided to buy a new pair of running shoes, enroll in a jiu jitsu or muay thai class, go to the gym, and go jogging on Saturday nights instead of confining myself to a debilitative state in front of the TV.

Now, if I can only gather enough willpower to actually act on my decisions, then I'll be good to go. As of now, my only physical activities consist of walking from the bus stop to the office and vice versa and frequent trips to the bathroom. I've heard a good number of raves about the benefits of walking and that made me feel better for a while. I even resorted to drinking lots and lots of water so that I could have an excuse to go to the bathroom more often. But my efforts proved to be futile as the bulge in my belly still refused to budge.

I took up weight training as a Phys Ed course back in college and my instructor used to say then that Asian women are naturally predisposed to having a somewhat fuller midsection. I still haven't verified the veracity of that statement and I have serious suspicions that he was just saying that to make us feel less pathetic. Another professor of mine, this time in a literature class, said that some cultures actually consider women on the, uh, heavy side to be sexier and more appealing. Well, too bad. The culture I grew up in doesn't exactly adhere to that belief.

The choleric side of me is already screaming “Do Something!" in an insanely hysterical manner so I decided to take on a more proactive stance regarding my fitness condition. I checked out gyms. And I don't just mean doing a google search. Ha! I did some offline research as well. One tip I got about choosing a gym is a classic real estate principle: location location location. Basically, the idea is to choose a gym near your house or at least located somewhere that's not a two-hour drive away.

Fortunately, there happens to be one on the street adjacent to where I live. Unfortunately, its location is the only good thing about it. The equipment are regretfully very limited and are cramped in a tiny space. That's already a violation of item number six in the top ten list of things to consider when choosing a gym. (And yes, I happen to like lists.) And let's not talk about personal trainers. It doesn't have one. Apparently, the gym's philosophy is to each his own. You come in, pump some iron, and if you strain a muscle or a barbell falls on you, well, some people have had it worse so just thank the heavens for a relatively milder bad luck.

Locker rooms are nothing more than tiny stalls where you could change and don't ask where the showers are. Your stinky post-workout smell is not the gym's problem. The cost, set on an hourly basis, is unsurprisingly dirt cheap. Their second philosophy: you deserve what you pay for, tetanus (courtesy of the rusty equipment) and fungal infection included. Looks like I just found the gym from hell.

I still like myself very much despite my less-than-perfect figure so of course I didn't even consider going back there. So much for a near-the-house gym. It's time to look for the not-a-two-hour-drive-away. A friend told me about the gym where he is a member. It's about 40 minutes from my place but is definitely way more decent than the last one I checked out. The equipment is fairly adequate and well-maintained, there are shower stalls and real locker rooms, and personal trainers are available to help you.

Here's the best part: there's TV! How awesome is that? I could burn calories on the treadmill and still have my much needed dose of The Simpsons. Before I lose myself in workout ecstasy and sign up for membership, there's just one important thing I need to know. Who gets to have a say on the TV channel? The choleric side of me may be happier now that I've finally taken a more active stand on my fitness plan but it will not be completely pacified until it has control of the remote.