There has been a lot of talk about surrogacy these days. Many people, worldwide, who have not had any real need to explore surrogacy might be confused about exactly what is done in order for the surrogate mother to become pregnant. It is common that outsiders think that some sort of "hanky panky" goes on between the intended father and the surrogate mother.



I've been a surrogate mother twice, and each time, both my husband and myself have been very vocal about it towards our friends, neighbors and co-workers. Though no one has ever said anything to me personally, my husband has been asked point blank if he had to "share" me with another man in order for the surrogacy to work.

The answer is no. Surrogacy never, ever involves wife swapping. That's not called surrogacy; that's called swinging.

Though it seems laughable to me that people can be so misinformed, I have found that it is actually a common misconception. Those unfamiliar with the advances in modern medicine may get confused. So I decided to expel some of these surrogacy rumors and inform the general masses.

First off, there are two forms of surrogacy: traditional surrogacy, and gestational surrogacy. I've been a gestational surrogate twice. Gestational surrogates have no biological link to the children they carry.

A gestational surrogacy is achieved through the medical procedure called IVF: In Vitro Fertilization. Through a medical procedure, eggs are retrieved from the intended mother's ovaries, and they are fertilized with sperm from the intended father by a lab technician in a petri dish. The resulting embryos are then transferred into the womb of the surrogate.

If a pregnancy is achieved, upon birth the surrogate will give the child back to his or her parents. She has no legal claim to the child since it is not biologically hers.

A traditional surrogacy is a little different. A traditional surrogate is in fact the biological mother of the child she carries. Because of this, it is understandable where the misconceptions come from. But there is nothing risque about it.

The intended father will deposit sperm in a clinic. It is then placed into the cervix or uterus of the traditional surrogate mother while she is ovulating. This is usually done in a clinic setting, by a doctor.

If a pregnancy is achieved, the surrogate will sign over all of her parental rights to the intended parents. This is handled much like an adoption in most states.

There is no sexual contact between any of the parties in surrogacy. Heck, only the surrogate needs to be present at the time of conception! The parents can be in a different state, or even on a different continent at that time.

But I can see where the misconceptions come from! I guess I need to be a little more careful the next time I say flippantly that I am going to Vegas (where my fertility clinic is located) to get pregnant, and I'm leaving my husband at home!