A friend of mine is in dilemma right now. She met two men at the same time and she is dating both of them. One is a romantic and stereotypical individual who has all the fundamental principles in life where she can have all the security she needs once she marries him. The other guy is a divorcee but a warm, modern and happy guy whom my friend finds easy to be with and is actually beginning to fall in love with.



The problem with the second guy she is dating is that he still sees his ex-wife and still supports her even though she is already married to another guy. Malen (my friend) confides in me that she would have chosen Alan (the second guy) over Melvin (the first guy) if only Alan would stop seeing and supporting his ex-wife. She believes that after the divorce, he does not need to support her anymore.

There is now a strain on their relationship since Malen has expressed her wishes to Melvin and he feels that Malen should understand and accept him. They clearly care for each other and don't really want to end things. When one of them would try to break it off, the other would argue not to give up and now it seems to be a cycle.

When it comes to Malen and Melvin, Malen will sometimes tell me that she would marry Melvin, which angers me. I believe that she should love Melvin with all her heart and I let her know how I feel about that situation.

I just feel that to put demands on someone, especially at the start of a relationship, is pretty selfish. I think if Malen accepts the fact that Alan still has a relationship with his ex-wife, things will work out. She should realize that things will change since Alan is willing to work at it. They both just need time and eventually Alan will give Malen all the love she wants.

I just wish that Malen would realize this and know that by putting demands on Alan it is putting a strain on their relationship. Instead of focusing on themselves and their connection, they are wasting time on an argument that doesn't really matter.

There are a lot of people who are in a similar situation. If there's just a little more understanding, real love can be attained. Malen and Alan can create memorable situations instead of destroying potential good situations if she lets Alan have his time. This applies to all relationships: understanding leads to clarity and growth.