Do you realize how much time we spend negotiating with others in our day to day life? Whether it is sealing a high-powered deal at work, pleading with a traffic cop on a perceived violation or simply getting your ten year old to finish his homework, negotiations are found wherever relationships exist. Negotiating a way out of a conflict is probably the best way to handle a potentially tricky situation; but it's required as much when you're trying to strike a bargain at the local flea market. Love it or hate it, you just can't ignore it.



The popular perception is that such discussions generally run on parallel tracks, with each party trying to secure the maximum advantage for themselves. While some negotiations may well favor one party, a win-win negotiation works towards securing mutual benefit. The win-win negotiation technique is employed when there is a desire to maintain a long term, harmonious relationship. The objective is to ensure that both parties feel good about the outcome, once the deal is struck.

A win-win negotiation is based on the premise that the stance of the negotiating parties is rarely as opposed as it appears to be at first glance. It thus seeks to find and exploit common ground, and build an amicable solution that aims to maximize joint outcomes. If you're thinking that sounds a lot like motherhood and apple pie stuff, think again. A win-win negotiation is for real, and we'll show you how!

Believe in it. Get into the groove by wanting to reach a mutually beneficial solution. Experience shows that the outcome is strongly influenced by the way the two parties approach the negotiating table. Keep the other party's interest in mind, along with your own. If things are deadlocked, consider allowing low impact concessions – something that brings them value, without taking too much away from you.

Define your needs. When you plan your negotiations, take some time to think of your most important needs, as well as those of the negotiating party. Some people approach a discussion with the sole intention of “winning” every point – hey, that's not how it works. If you have a clear threshold in mind, you'll be able to devote your energies towards making the discussion work, rather than maintaining the score! This is also called a Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) – an alternative scenario should no conclusion be reached. In a win-win negotiation, it is important that the end result betters the BATNA of all partners. A word of caution, here – don't give away your minimum position too soon, or you might end up on the losing side of the bargain.

Don't get personal. Bringing personalities into it is an absolute no-no. Remember that the goal is to solve a problem, and driving people away by launching personal attacks will get you nowhere. Stay objective at all times, leaving your ego and emotions at home. If the other guy is letting off steam, let it blow over. You'll probably strengthen your position that way.

Stay in the game. A win-win negotiation is most likely to be a process, rather than a one-off event. There might be a past to it, and you can certainly expect a future. Therefore, be prepared for iterations, with proposals and counter proposals trading back and forth, till final agreement is reached. It's important to devise a clear strategy beforehand.

Set the stage. Reminding the other party of failed discussions in the past is not the best way to approach what you hope will be a win-win negotiation. Steer clear of the blame game too. Choose your tone of voice, facial expressions and body language with care, as indeed the actual timing and location of the meeting. Last but not least, give the other speakers your undivided attention, and impress them with the sincerity of your intentions. A successful win-win negotiation is but a handshake away!