SOME NEEDS WE MIGHT HAVE



FROM THE OTHER

Mark your needs and add others you would like to be respected or fulfilled in this relationship.

1. Love (or greater expression of it)

2. Respect

3. Understanding (of what?)

4. Acceptance as we are

5. Acknowledgement and affirmation

6. Trust

7. Freedom to think and function as we believe and in accordance with our needs

8. A peaceful environment

9. Support and encouragement in the cultivation of our abilities and powers

10. To be listened to without hearing criticism or advice.

11. Satisfaction with us.

12. Inspiration

13. To be just with us - to behave toward us as he or she would like us to behave toward him of her

14. To agree with our beliefs and ideals or at least accept and respect them

15. To express his or her true feelings, needs and beliefs

16. Freedom of movement

17. To keep our agreements

18. To have patience with our weaknesses

19. To be supported during difficult moments

20. To express gratitude for all we offer him or her

21. To acknowledge our positive qualities

22. To be able to be alone when we do not feel well or when we have the need.

23. To get out more often

24. To get more rest

25. To be given more help in the chores

26. For greater attention when we speak

27. To do more things together

28. For greater responsibility on his or her part

29. To be on time

30. To receive more help and cooperation in keeping order and cleanliness

31. To be able to behave as we like in our home.

32. To take care of him/her self.

For romantic relationships:

33. Affection and erotic contact.

34. To be sexually devoted to only us

Other___________________________________

Consider which needs might be behind the following:

Your complaining

Your criticism

Your impatience

Your refusal to cooperate

Your reactions

Your conflicts and arguments

The games you play

Your competitiveness

Your teaching and sermonizing

Your anger

Now place a special mark next to those needs that in your perception are not being fulfilled enough in your relationship.

Having done so, seek to discover whether your lesson is to:

1. Express these needs more dynamically through I-messages

2. Get free from the needs

3. Get free from subconscious beliefs (fears, guilt) that prevent you from manifesting this need

4. Some combination of the above.

According to what you find, then employ affirmations for each obstacle towards any of these four possible lessons so that you can move forward.

According to your discoveries, make a plan for proceeding toward a happier reality.

Tuning into the other's needs.

Mark what you believe to be the other's needs

1. Love (or greater expression of it)

2. Respect

3. Understanding (of what?)

4. To accept them as they are

5. Acknowledgement and affirmation

6. Trust

7. Freedom to think and function as they believe and in accordance with their needs

8. A peaceful environment

9. Support and encouragement in the cultivation of their abilities and powers

10. To be listened to them without hearing criticizing or advice

11. To be satisfied with them

12. To inspire them

13. To be just with them ? for us to behave toward them as we would like them to behave toward us

14. To agree with their beliefs and ideals or at least accept and respect them

15. To express our true feelings, needs and beliefs

16. Freedom of movement

17. To keep our agreements

18. To have patience with their weaknesses

19. To be support them during difficult moments

20. To express gratitude for all that they offer us

21. To acknowledge their positive qualities

22. To be able to be alone when they do not feel well or when they have the need

23. To get out more often

24. To get more rest

25. To receive more help in the chores

26. To be given greater attention when they speak

27. To do more things together

28. For greater responsibility on our part

29. To be on time

30. To receive more help and cooperation in keeping order and cleanliness

31. To behave as they like in the home and elsewhere

32. For us to take care of ourselves

For romantic relationship partners

33 Affection and erotic contact

34. To be sexually devoted to only them

Other___________________________________

You might also want to consider which needs might be behind the other's:

Complaining

Criticism

Impatience

Refusal to cooperate

Reactions

Conflicts and arguments

Games he or she plays

Competitiveness

Teaching and sermonizing

Anger

Now place a special mark on the other's needs that you consider to be the least satisfied by yourself in this relationship. Then consider possible lessons:

1. To feel okay even if your loved one's need is not satisfied

2. To free yourself from any obstacles that keep you from satisfying your loved one's needs

3. To communicate more effectively about this through I-messages and active listening

4. To find practical solutions so you both can be happy

5. Some combination of the above

Once you have made your discoveries, move forward to employing affirmations for any emotions which might obstruct you from lovingly satisfy the other's needs or getting free from guilt that he or she is not satisfied. Also as mentioned above, work on any difficulties if communicating on this problem.